Nadia Elkharadly: The Bachelorette Party

It’s finally happened.  I’m at that age where everyone around me is getting married, buying houses, having babies, and generally doing all sorts of things I’m not remotely ready to do.  This fall will mark the second occasion that I stand up for a dear friend at a wedding.  What makes this one all the more special is that not only is my oldest friend in the whole world getting married, but she asked me to be her maid of honour.  And this past weekend, we went to Miami to celebrate her decision to tie the knot.  Because when people get married, what better way to celebrate that choice than by jetting off to gorgeous hot destinations with a group of good friends?

I have to preface this by saying that our trip was likely not the typical bachelorette experience.  To start, Melissa doesn’t drink.  Being Asian and possibly the tiniest not midget person I know, alcohol + Mel = disaster.  Adorably hilarious disaster, but she doesn’t really like to engage in that.  On top of that, a couple of the other ladies weren’t drinking much either, so it fell to myself and my good friend Emer to bear the burden for everyone.  As we joked many a time that weekend, we were drinking for five!  It was a tough thing to do, but we wanted to take one, or two, or five, for the team.   So there were no body shots off the abs of hot waiters.  There was no dancing on the bar of Coyote Ugly.  Instead, we ate two of the most delicious dinners I’ve ever had; one at my absolute favourite sushi restaurant on the planet Sushi Samba, and the other at the beautiful, gleaming white, poolside Asia de Cuba.

Have you ever heard of Lobster Mashed Potatoes?  Well, if you haven’t, look into it.  Best EVER.  Instead of cheap tequila shots and fruity cocktails with penis straws sticking out of them, we drank wonderful wine, top shelf vodka and refreshing sangria.  When you’re drinking for five, you want to make sure it’s high quality stuff you’re consuming.

Just because we weren’t drinking like fiends doesn’t mean we didn’t party like rockstars.  The great thing about being with a group of beautiful women in a place like Miami is that the world is your oyster.  The doors to clubs open up and large men in suits usher you in.  You accidentally buy yourself one $18 vodka soda and a group of guys with bottles of vodka just start offering you drinks.  Now the fact that I enjoy this kind of thing may sound superficial, but hey, I’m in my early thirties.  Coasting on my cuteness has an expiration date, and it’s fast approaching.  I have the rest of my life to pay for my own drinks, so I enjoy this kind of treatment where I can.

Dressing up, dancing, posing for our own personal photoshoots, these were just some of the things we did on this bachelorette party trip.  But those weren’t the important parts of the trip.  They were fun to be sure, but, like at Ian’s bachelor party, the party parts weren’t the important parts.  Getting married is a life landmark for men and women.  And it’s pretty clear that women take it more seriously than men do.  That’s not to say that men don’t value marriage or their wives as much as women do.  But so many women think about their weddings, their husbands, that whole aspect of life from the moment they discover their own imaginations.  The gravity is there, and that definitely was felt during this trip.  While at Ian’s bachelor party, I got to sit back and watch how guys bond during experiences like that, how they truly embrace what they see as their last days of singledom as an opportunity to make the most of their time with their buddies.  It’s about reminiscing about the past, going nuts for a few days, and then walking into a new life with arms wide open.  Watching Mel and our friends interact, it was clear that this trip wasn’t about grasping at the dissolving wisps of the past.  Sure, we told stories about hanging out in university, about Mel devouring half the food in my parents’ kitchen, despite weighing 90lbs, and joked and laughed.  The true point of this bachelorette trip was to get good friends together, not to celebrate the moments of the past, but the potential of the future.  We talked so much about what was going to happen, not what already had.  We talked about the house Mel and her fiancé will be moving to, about the wedding, about children, everything that represents moving to that next stage of life that she’s now reached.  And when you’ve known someone for as long as Mel and I have been friends, it’s honestly such a crazy and brilliant thing, not only to watch her grow into her lovely new life, but to be right there with her while she’s doing it.

So to my beautiful friend Mel, I’m beyond excited to stand up with you on the day of your wedding.  I know we’ll stay friends for the rest of our lives, and I look forward to watching you marry the older brother I never wanted, and to drinking many drinks for you, for many years to come.

Until next time,

Xo

N

Nadia’s column appears every Tuesday

Contact us at: dbawis@rogers.com

Nadia Elkharadly is a Toronto based writer with a serious addiction to music. Corporate drone by day, renegade rocker by night, writing is her creative outlet.  Nadia writes for the Examiner (.com) on live music in Toronto and Indie Music in Canada.  She has never been in a band but plays an awesome air guitar and also the tambourine.  Check in every Tuesday for musings about music, love, life and whatever else that comes to mind.