Roxanne Tellier -The Dog Ate My Homework

Considering I’ve had two weeks to mull over my first column of 2015, you’d really think I might have accumulated a mass of goodies to share with the readers of the little blog that could. (Speaking of which … congratulations Bob Segarini for dragging the DBAWIS motley crew along to the 1000 posts milestone!)

But really, teach – I slept in, I stubbed my toe, and the dog ate my homework! Worst of all, Justin Bieber’s unretouched photo shoot for Calvin Klein came out, and I haven’t been able to eat or sleep since!  The horror!

 

No matter how hard I tried to bring myself back to earth by eating stale jelly beans and reading about Brad and Angelina’s 8 year old child Shiloh, who now insists on being called John and wants to be a boy, I haven’t been able to drag myself away from binge-watching British dramas and taking end of year quizzes to leave the house to trawl for new music.

 

The frigid temperatures in Toronto have turned me into an agoraphobic, and the lack of social contact is destroying any vestige of ‘cool’ I managed to retain through 2014. I’m at the mercy of social media, and whatever news I catch as I drift from the kitchen to the office to the bedroom and then to the front or back door to let the cats out, let the cats in, separate the cat fight, and do it all again – has been horrifying.

 

The world has gone mad. Terrorists shot 12 cartoonists in France, a street musician was decapitated in Syria by ISIS, and Boko Haram assassinated thousands of people in Nigeria. Is it any wonder I prefer to sit in a darkened room with my fingers in my ears?   (fingers in ears.gif)

Trouble is, fingers in ears tend to shut out the good as well as the bad.

Indeed, the most au courant music I recently dared to post on the book of Face was of a video by Irish wiz kid Hozier, only to find that the song has been a huge hit in both Europe and the States for ages. Massive fail! I’ve really got to try staying up past 10 p.m. some time. But – the song and video are terrific.

I got parody crazy, and compiled a list of Youtube links to satirical versions of pop songs as performed by the cast of 22 Minutes.

But that only made me depressed about Canadian politics. My good intentions and hopes of bursting back onto the scene with breathtaking premieres of new music and even breathier images of voluptuous pop stars photographed in oil were dashed.

On the bright side, I’m figuring there’s nowhere to go but up from here. My OCD friend tells me there are only 68 days left until spring, and the days are already getting longer. After what seems like months of holiday specials and music, regular programming is drifting back onto the television, and although Stephen Colbert has left the stage, John Oliver will return to HBO Sunday, February 8^th.

And I am saved from being a total musicologist failure by this late addition! I have an enormous scoop, Dear Readers. After much delay, the new the heymacs video has been released, and I’m proud to present it here first.  The boys are back in the alley, and Macky’s romantic life has taken a turn for the worse when he’s told to “Hit The Road, Jack.”

Hang in there, DBAWISites … before you know it we’ll be kickin’ back in tee shirts and  strappy heels, sipping martoonies on patios and enjoying the best Toronto musicians have to offer.  At least that’s what I keep telling myself …  

=RT=

Roxanne’s column appears here every Sunday 

Contact us at dbawis@rogers.com

Roxanne Tellier has been singing since she was 10 months old … no, really. Not like she’s telling anyone else how to live their lives, because she’s not judgmental, and most 10 month olds need a little more time to figure out how to hold a microphone. She has also been a vocalist with many acts, including Tangents, Lady, Performer, Mambo Jimi, and Delta Tango. In 2013 she co-hosted Bob Segarini’s podcast, The Bobcast, and, along with Bobert, will continue to seek out and destroy the people who cancelled ‘Bunheads’.