Segarini – 2015 -The Age of Idiocracy Part Two
Nothing says more about a period of time than our entertainments and diversions. They reflect the culture and mindset embraced by the populace in broad and easily understood strokes for us to enjoy individually and in crowds. And to either take our minds off the events taking place in our lives, or to educate and inform us of those events.
Things I learned in 2015….
Rebellion has been replaced by conformity
Radio has become a loud 24 hour commercial for snack chips, beer, soda pop, automobiles, television shows, movies, franchise restaurants and fast food, sportsball, donuts, and coffee, occasionally interrupted by format friendly commercials for producers, arrangers, beat specialists, people who talk really fast about what they own, want to own or used to own, bitches, ho’s, screwing, and jesus, auto-tuned pretty boys and girls, and Max Martin. All delivered by a 1000 DJs who all sound like Ryan Seacrest because they got the memo.
There are exceptions to every rule (see previous paragraph) but not many.
Lemmy cast a much longer shadow than the mainstream audience will ever know
Donald Trump became the biggest Idiot/Asshole in the history of the United States, knocking George W Bush down to number 2 and Reagan down to number 3. Newbie Ben (The Bewildered) Carter placing 4th in his first year in the running.
No matter how smart you think you are, no matter how accurate you believe your judgement of character to be, you can be completely fooled by a psychopath.
The Top 5 things People Are Looking For on Facebook
5. Something or Someone to love
4. Something or Someone to Hate
3. Likes, Kudos, and Congratulations
Buzzwords I Hope I Never Hear or See Again
Share if You….
Music…Just the Facts, Ma’am….
According to iTunes…
These were the biggest selling albums of 2015…
I’m NOT going to make fun of Adele. I’m NOT going to make fun of Adele. I’m NOT going to make fun of Adele. I’m NOT going to make fun of Adele. I’m NOT going to make fun of Adele. I’m NOT going to make fun of Adele….
- Adele –25
- Drake –If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late
- Taylor Swift –1989
- Various Artists –Fifty Shades Of GreySoundtrack
- Justin Bieber –Purpose
- Drake & Future –What a Time To Be Alive
- Kendrick Lamar –To Pimp a Butterfly
- The Weeknd –Beauty Behind The Madness
- Dr. Dre –Compton
- Sam Hunt –Montevallo
…and here are the top selling singles…
- Mark Ronson – “Uptown Funk (ft. Bruno Mars)”
- Ed Sheeran – “Thinking Out Loud”
- Wiz Khalifa – “See You Again (ft. Charlie Puth)”
- Maroon 5 – “Sugar”
- Walk the Moon – “Shut Up and Dance”
- Adele – “Hello”
- Ellie Goulding – “Love Me Like You Do”
- Andy Grammer – “Honey I’m Good”
- The Weeknd – “Earned It (Fifty Shades Of Grey)”
- Fetty Wap – “Trap Queen”
…and According to Billboard….
The Number 1 Singles for 2015
Billboard’s Year end Chart is based collectively on each single’s weekly hard copy and digital sales, as well as radio airplay and internet streaming.
Only eight singles reached number one in 2015, and one, Taylor Swift’s Blank Space was a holdover from December of 2014. Of those nine number-one singles, three were collaborations, so in total, ten artists topped the chart as either lead or featured performer.
- Taylor Swift – Blank Space (2 weeks)
- Mark Ronson/Bruno Mars – Uptown Funk (14 weeks)
- Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth – See You Again (6 weeks)
- Taylor Swift ft. Kendrick Lamar – Bad Blood (1 week
- Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth – See You Again (6 MORE weeks)
- OMI – Cheerleader (4 weeks)
- The Weeknd – Can’t Feel My Face (1 week)
- OMI – Cheerleader (2 More weeks)
- Justin Bieber – What Do You Mean (1 week)
- The Weeknd – Cant Feel My Face ( 1 More week)
- The Weeknd – The Hills (6 weeks)
- Adele – Hello (7 weeks)
My Personal Top 15 for 2015
Once again, radio and the rest of Mainstream Media is more interested in who has the most money, the biggest butt, and the loudest, newest Max Martin ‘hit’. Meanwhile, there is so much great music being made, but most people are unaware of the current output of old and new artists alike.
When a man in an office 1000 miles away from the stations he is programming, whose interest in actual music is dwarfed by his obsession with a recording’s chances of keeping the already existing audience and attracting the most advertising dollars, when you can’t even hear your own amazing local acts on the radio in the city where you live, when the artists breaking all over the world whose music may even be revolutionary, when radio has failed to deliver the best, most interesting, and most heartfelt music being made to an audience too lazy to look for it on their own because they are hard-wired to people whose only interest is money, it is time for a change…and there WILL be a change. The first stations to figure this out are going to change your musical world and open up the floodgates that have been keeping the music, and the artists, down. Period.
- Mark Ronson/Bruno Mars – Uptown Funk
- James Taylor – Angels of Fenway
- Rumer – Reach Out
- Rumer – You Just Don’t Know People
- July Talk – Summer Dress
- Tedeschi Trucks Band – Full Show 2 hrs 12 min
- Julian Taylor – Just a Little Bit
- Courage My Love – Sorry
- Fourplay – Live Celebrating 25 Years
- Maddie and Tae – Girl in a Country Song
05. DJ Cassidy – Future Is Mine feat. Chromeo & Wale
- Dirty Loops – Undo (live
- Xprime – All To Myself
- Saint Paul and the Broken Bones – Call Me (Live)
- Rival Sons – Electric Man
The mainstream kids have an excuse for not hearing or seeing this music, but you people over 40….
…you HAVE NOT heard all the great bands, you HAVE NOT seen all the great shows, and you HAVE NOT taken the trouble to find that out for yourselves.
Because you don’t love music…
…You love your youth.
Dumbest Shit I Read and Heard in 2015….
“Obama is the worst President in history…”
“Trump says what the rest of us are thinking…”
“Never trust anyone who doesn’t love The Beatles…”
“I fucking HATE the Eagles…”
“Today’s music sucks…”
“Cancer has been cured, but Big Pharma is holding it back…”
“We’re Number One…!”
“I made 2300 dollars in one hour doing this…”
“What millionaires don’t want you to know…”
“You won’t believe what happens next…”
“You’re watching FOX News…”
Jebus H. Christ…Television is experiencing a Golden Age right now. If you’re one of those people who calls it shit, or are proud of not owning a TV, hie thee to a Big Box store and pick one up. Some TV is better than a lot of the movies being released.
Too many great shows to go into, but believe me…these days, with this kind of entertainment and diversion available in your home for relatively little cost…Dude…get a fucking 3D flatscreen for under 1000 bucks and see what you’re missing..
Off the top of my head….
House of Cards
Comic Book Men
How to Get Away with Murder
Legends of Tomorrow
…hell. just check it out.
(Star Wars: The Force Awakens gets its own article as soon as I figure out why it depressed the shit out of me.)
Highest Grossing Films for 2015
- Star Wars: The Force Awakens Lucasfilm $1,890,432,3462
- Jurassic World Universal Pictures $1,668,984,9263
- Furious 7$1,515,047,6714
- Avengers: Age of Ultron Marvel Studios $1,405,035,7675
- Minions Universal Pictures/Illumination Entertainment $1,157,275,0176
- Inside Out Walt Disney Pictures/Pixar $856,130,1328
- Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation Paramount Pictures $682,330,1399
- The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2 Lionsgate Films $649,579,47810
- The Martian 20th Century Fox $597,888,512
Where is Mad Max: Fury Road in all this? Well here are it’s numbers….
Mad Max: Fury Road grossed $153.6 million in North America and $222.2 million in other territories for a worldwide total of $375.8 million against a budget of $150 million.
It was my least favourite movie of the year…and I will tell you why…or rather, Hugh Laurie will tell you why, after my very own….
Bob’s Best Movies of 2015….
11. Straight Outta Compton
Great everything. This thing should have gotten two or three nominations in the acting category, and it wasn’t even THINKING of the Oscars…just telling a great story.
I had great hopes for this film, and it almost delivered.
For some reason, they decided against 3D, and this movie suffered from it. It introduced a place that I needed to be immersed in, and I wasn’t. If I would have been in charge it would have started in 2D and washed out colours as it visited the New York World’s Fair in 1964 and Clooney’s character as a boy, and when he stepped out of the “elevator” it would have gone full goose Wizard of Oz in technicolour and 3D.
It reallly would have made a difference, and other than that, it hit all the marks I was hoping for and expected.
And one aspect of it, one scene, was eerily on point in the theatre I was in…the massive Colossus just off of Highway 7 and the 400.
More about that at the end of the column.
- Age of Ultron
Another great popcorn gobbler from the good folks at Marvel. Far better dialogue and humour than most comedies, and these characters are like family now. Cap and Stark hint at the split to come in Captain America: Civil War, coming on May 6th 2016
- The Good Dinosaur
Beautiful to look at, cute as a button, and as funny and brutal as life can be. Great choices made here in depicting this world in photo-realistic terms, while the characters who inhabit this world are adorable cartoons whose facial expressions and body language are as telling as a human beings. Pretty intense for very young children, life lessons for those a little older. Yay, Pixar.
Shot entirely on iPhones, on a budget waaay lower than Drake’s lap dance bill, this little film starring transgender actors and the seedy streets of Los Angeles is just too good to be ignored. Raw, bare boned, sad and hysterically funny, it stands both as a tribute to technology in the right hands, and creativity being a force of will not dependant on money, connections, or pandering to a wide audience. Tangerine does for the LGBT community what Clerks did for slackers; bring a subculture the mainstream knows little about into the light with honesty, realism, and a non-judgemental eye, and introduces us to people who are all too human, with the sadness, joy, and drama that comes with the territory. A must see.
Like Chef a year or two ago, this is a little movie with a big heart and a wonderful cast. Highly recommended.
Funny, cute, banana, great for the kids, greater for the adults that go with them.
- Ant Man
Marvel continues to make me happy every time they release a film. This one had it all; engaging characters, great dialogue, and some boffo gags.
- What We Do in the Shadows
Most of you missed this. A Kiwi movie that is a mocumentary about vampires living as roommates in modern day New Zealand. The laughs, all delivered dead-pan and dripping with sincerity, make you believe this is all true. The follow-up is due late this year about the rival werewolves who live in the same town. Find it, watch it, thank me.
- Jurassic World
Dallas Bryce Taylor alone is worth watching this perfect Spielbergian tribute to the popcorn movies of the ’80s…only done better, and in 3D, which for my money, is the key to getting me into a theatre these days. You people that ‘prefer’ 2D, film stock, and practical effects…go back to the 1970s and watch Donner’s Superman till you wake up.
In a perfect world, based on what the idiots in the Motion Picture Academy deem ‘Oscar-worthy’ when it comes to deciding what pretentious, over-blown, star-studded high-brow, serious, pompous, meaningful, scenery-chewing clap trap will take home the Golden Statuettes, would all be tossed out the window and witty, intelligent films with the humour and drama inherent in ANY great story, would have a fighting chance.
But who cares who wins the Oscar, or is nominated, or even gets a seat up front with the cleavage and bankable?
Not really. Just the folks whose asses are in the very expensive, invitation only seats…because their fortunes rise and fall on these ‘awards’.
I absolutely LOVED this movie.
I don’t give a fuck whether these people liked it or not. This is a great film by any measuring stick. No one is caught acting, Louie CK is a revelation, so deep into his character he goes, I didn’t even know it was him until half way through the film. And Helen Mirren, who I would marry if she ever asked me, or be her houseboy, or whatever, became the insufferable miserable bitch her character was so convincingly, I wanted to throw an ashtray at the TV every time she slithered onto the screen.
Bryan Cranston and John Goodman. By Grabthar’s Hammer, what amazing Actoroids.
Ditto everyone else on screen to the editing to the set direction and design…a wonderful ‘Murican movie that lived up to my expectations and beyond.
Sayonara 2015, You Stupid Fuck….
I blame 2015 for the first 3 weeks of January 2016.
Because just before the decaying body of last year crumbled to dust, it up and took Lemmy with it and then expected us to enjoy our Boxing Day purchases and New Year’s Eve.
You sucked, 2015. I hope you die on Facebook 1000 times.
About Mad Max, Tomorrowland, and a message no one got except the movie critics who shit all over it….
I am not a fan of dire, dour, apocalyptic movies. Or books. Or TV shows. Or Memes. Or people who preach it, predict it, dwell on it, and spread the ‘word’ about it every time they read some screw-loose report from a conspiracy nut’s blog.
The popularity of The Walking Dead and all its spin-offs, imitators, and tropes, make me shake my head. The body count and totally dark and dreary nature of Game of Thrones confuses the fuck out of me. People tune in to watch actors pretend to die in the most heinous ways. Sex in the times depicted? Do you realize how those men and women would have SMELLED? No toothpaste, soap, deodorant or feminine hygiene products? Running Water? Toilets? Is all that worth it just to see the occasional pair of titties?
I’m surprised they could get close enough to one another to just shake hands or shove a knife into a pregnant woman’s stomach.
Of all the movies casting doubt on our ability to overcome our problems and maybe solve a few of the big ones so our grandkid’s kids aren’t chowing down on Soylent Green and drinking purified urine, Mad Max: Fury Road was the straw that broke my camel’s back.
A depressing story about ugly people living in a ugly world, driving around in ugly vehicles, doing ugly things to other ugly people, in a dusty, fucked up, hopeless, ugly pile of sand and dirt, and just accepting that life, instead of banding together, using all the fucking fuel they seem to have, finding or building a fucking boat instead of intricate torture devices, and getting the fuck out of Dodge to look for something a little less…shall we say…ugly.
…and it was fucking LOUD.
…but no…lt’s just, do ugly things, be ugly and live ugly because ugly, dirt, hopelessness, kill or be killed, would you like some of this rat and a pint of warm urine and perhaps an eye-gouge, tattoo or maiming, is the way to go.
We, as a culture, seem to just LOVE being entertained by dying all together in a horrible, cataclysmic fireball of pain, fire, ice, aliens, asteroids, super-volcanoes, demons, brain slugs, super flu, zombies, vampires, Nazis, Open Carry Assholes, poison water, axe-wielding Christian Fundamentalist ISIS Terrorist airplane shoe bombs and sugar, red meat, and Frankencorn.
Here’s the deal.
If ANY of that happens, let it be a surprise…and if it ever does, just how dumb are you going to feel that you LOVED being entertained by the prospect of your loved ones dying and every bit of art and history and the entire wealth of human endeavour and knowledge being destroyed for all time and making our existence a big giant cosmic joke that only Douglas Adams could repair…and he’s fucking DEAD. …but some of the blockbuster ones are reallly fun.
The GF and I go to the Colossus to see Jurassic World and Tomorrowland. We get in line for tickets and are told all 5 theatres showing Mad Max: Fury Road, are sold out.
We get our tickets, and head toward the theatre showing Jurassic World. As we walk through the massive lobby of this theatre, I notice the huge lineups at the 5 theatres showing Mad Max: FR. We walk into ours.
Two hours later, we come out and get in a line of about 10 people for Tomorrowland in the iMAX theatre. I look over my shoulder to see all five MM:FR theatres lines stretching across the lobby.
2 hours later, we come out of Tomorrowland, and I notice that the five theatres for MM:FR are again as bloated as a Kardashian’s rear end…only this time, I have a huge grin on my face.
Because I discovered that I am not only NOT the only person on this mudball that finds the obsession with the END of ALL THINGS to be spiritually and emotionally corrupt, but SOMEONE MADE A MOVIE ABOUT IT.
So, thank you Brad Bird, and Disney, and the writers of this fine piece of entertainment which also made a point that needed to be made…
…only to have it ignored except for the critics who were offended by a movie of wonder and thrills and hope and redemption, and instead gave it a thumbs down because it had a “message”.
Well, I have a message for you.
NEVER disrespect common sense, hope, or humanity’s ability to rise above its most uninformed, angry, negative, and smug bottom feeders…just be sorry for them and for those who buy into giving up, accepting the worst, and being part of the problems most of us would like to fix.
Hugh Laurie’s Tomorrowland Speech
Segarini’s column appears when the moon is in the Seventh House and Jupiter aligns with Mars
Contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org
Bob “The Iceman” Segarini was in the bands The Family Tree, Roxy, The Wackers, The Dudes, and The Segarini Band and nominated for a Juno for production in 1978. He also hosted “Late Great Movies” on CITY TV, was a producer of Much Music, and an on-air personality on CHUM FM, Q107, SIRIUS Sat/Rad’s Iceberg 95, (now 85), and now publishes, edits, and writes for DBAWIS, continues to write music, make music, and record