Segarini – Yays and Nays

This one is Short and Sweet…like a cupcake….

Things I like get a YAY, things I do not like get a NAY. I am a verrry complicated man. We will start with the obvious….

Donald Trump

We might as well call him “The Big D”.

Like the “Big C”, there is (as of yet) no known cure for him, and when the (hot) air issues forth, he spreads so quickly, you can watch as millions of ‘cells’ turn dark and malignant, spreading his disease further into the Body Politic and infecting already at-risk human beings.

There may not be a cure yet, but there are ways to reduce, or cut out the main portion of this horribly dangerous illness. Perhaps a radiation treatment. Where can we get a Big D size Microwave oven?

Too harsh? Probably. NAY

Hillary Clinton

You can believe whatever you like about this woman, but compared to her opponent, she is a vessel of intelligence, knowledge, experience, and light, while he remains a mason jar full of misinformation, bluster, lies, and self-serving prattle.

Putting her opponent in the White House Guarantees us of having a 12 year old boy with anger issues decimating a country already on the brink of becoming a third world backwater full of open-carry racists.

Putting Hillary in the White House is guaranteeing at least four years of sanity and a continuance of Obama’s humanitarian approach to Governance and a chance to  take America forward. YAY

Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon has not only elevated the FM Radio Morning Show Fake Laugh to heights unimagined by everyone from Ryan Seabiscuit to Your local Morning Zoo…he has proven that even talented people can be embarrassingly annoying. I cannot watch him, listen to him, or think about him without wanting to skin him alive with a Fallon-sized Rotato. He and Donald Trump together on television is like being run over by a steam roller, while being stuffed in a wood-chipper and forced to listen to Pitbull and Demi Lovato duet on You’re Having My Baby. Do I make myself clear? NAY

Jimmy Kimmel

Amazing how different Jimmies can be. Kimmel is funny, genuinely self-effacing, seems humble, smart, and real when he speaks, and carries himself like a man who wants to be entertaining and playful without being cloying or pandering. Yes, Carson, Paar, Letterman, Allen, and Ferguson all set the bar high when it comes to late night entertainment, and Kimmel, for my money, follows in their footsteps. YAY

Zack Snyder

L – R: Nolan, Goyer, Cavill, Snyder

Other than having a name that belongs on the back of a NY Yankees baseball uniform, Mr. Snyder showed me great promise when he delivered an almost perfect movie of the un-filmable Watchmen comic book, Alan Moore’s precedent setting dismantling and reconstruction of the super hero genre. Even the change he made to the Big Bad and the ending of the film added weight and a better denouement than the graphic novel possessed.

But Man of Steel  was a complete train wreck for me. Sullen, dark, drunk on its own stupidity, and populated by characters so far afield from how they have been portrayed in the past, he could have made Clark Kent African American and Superman Latino, and probably not done as much damage…but wait…there’s more.

…then, in the ‘sequel’ ( really just another Batman movie, Batman v Superman), he not only continues to get every character wrong (Lex Luther as a 20-sonething Bill Gates?) , he fucking KILLS Jimmy Olsen!

He KILLS Jimmy Olsen, who, according to NY Yankee utility outfielder, Zack Snyder, wasn’t the “Golly, Mr. Kent” copy boy/photog/Supes BFF he has been for the past 75 or 80 years, he instead, was a CIA operative who speaks Farsi and uses Lois as a mule for his spy stuff. And to top it all off, Snyder takes the dullest, dumbest Superman storyline of all time (Doomsday), and KILLS Supes at the end of this stink bomb.

Between Nolan, (writer) David Goyer, and Snyder, I don’t think the Justice League movie has a chance in hell. Hope I’m wrong. NAY

Kevin Feige

This man is in charge of all the movies that come out of Marvel Studios, and, with the exception of Iron Man 3, hasn’t dropped the ball once. The difference between the 5 Spiderman movies before Feige negotiated a deal to use Peter Parker at Marvel, and Spidey’s appearance in Captain America: Civil War, is the difference between a box of Chicken McNuggets and a medium rare rib steak. YAY

Kale, Mung Beans, Tofu, and Stevia 

Other than the wonderful asparagus, why would you want to live for a long time if it meant eating this stuff? Seriously. Why?   NAY

Food 

Next to having sex every chance we get, this is the one thing we have that makes life worth living. Other than family and friends, and a job that we love and pays enough to guarantee a roof over our heads and this on our tables, food is the best reason there is to love this life.  YAY

Max Martinized Music

Max is the open source origin of the glut of sound-alike nursery rhymes we hear all day on contemporary hit radio, which has many names; Urban/Pop/CHR/AC/ Dance, and EDM among them. I liken it to Music for Minions, because, like this music, Minions all look (and sound) exactly alike but with minor differences that set them apart from one another. One eye or two, dress or pants, football helmet or baseball cap, they are all easily recognizable as Minions, just like this music is instantly recognizable as jolly ditties and moribund ballads decrying the horror of being young or pretty, or wealthy, or angry, or sad, or tough, or whatevs. Some of this format filler IS fun and most all of it well written to serve it’s purpose, but that’s a craft, not an art. Not all of it is dreck, but the majority of this disposable ear candy comes and goes, labelled as a hit, and replaced as soon as the cash flow drops or little J Dough, Arbiana Goodbutt, or MC Dingo fall out of favour with those who loved them for 20-25 minutes or so and streamed their music so often that the artists run out and buy cars and houses they can no longer afford a year later. Every now and again we get an Uptown Funk, but other than those exceptions… NAY

Music

Are you kidding me?    YAY!!!

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Segarini’s regular columns appear here whenever Adele gets dumped by a boyfriend

Contact us at dbawis@rogers.com

Bob “The Iceman” Segarini was in the bands The Family Tree, Roxy, The Wackers, The Dudes, and The Segarini Band and nominated for a Juno for production in 1978. He also hosted “Late Great Movies” on CITY TV, was a producer of Much Music, and an on-air personality on CHUM FM, Q107, SIRIUS Sat/Rad’s Iceberg 95, (now 85), and now publishes, edits, and writes for DBAWIS, continues to write music, make music, and record.