Peter VS The Deadly Sins – 2 Out of 7 Ain’t Bad….

“I decided that I wanted to experience the Seven Deadly Sins firsthand. My only regret is that I started with Sloth.”

Every so often, I read something that I wish I had thought of first. Today’s column is going to be about two of these sins, although those sitting on the edge of their seats waiting to read about Lust are going to be sorely disappointed!

Greed

So “Net Neutrality” was repealed by the FCC a few weeks ago. I know that my computer has been dragging its sorry ass ever since. Why do they want to embrace inequality? Burger King recently released a very clever ad that clearly explains the concept of Net Neutrality in under 3 minutes. Brilliant work.

-A Canadian doctor wants to introduce “two tier” health care in Canada. He’s going to the Supreme Court to try to get it crammed down our throats. Anyone else remember Pence’s speech railing against “socialist medicine”? Anyone else remember Martin Shkreti hiking the price of a desperately needed AIDS medication more than 5000 percent? Greed.

-Obscene Canadian bank profits. In March, 2017, the Bank of Montreal said that it had made about 1.5 billion dollars profit in three months.  That’s an increase of nearly 40 percent from a year previous. Now, the Royal Bank’s profits were only up 3 billion dollars, and CIBC’s profits were only up a mere 13 per cent. Of course, an increase in the minimum wage to $14.00 an hour will cause chaos. Bastards.

-The brigands who almost brought it all to a screeching halt in 2008 not only did not get punished, but in some cases, are now in positions of power. Stay vigilant.

Vanity

The old “sanitation engineer” syndrome.

– Ever go to a fast food joint, place your order, and then hear “Guest 417, your order is ready!” Um, no. I was a guest at my in-laws for Christmas dinner. I brought a bottle of wine and had to laugh at my father in law’s jokes. (But not a really fakey laugh like last year, I got told 😉 rather sternly, by my wife.) Please don’t try to make me feel like one of the family, because I’m not. I’m a customer. I paid after tax money for your product.

-In the sports sections of newspapers, there is usually a “transactions” section. You read stuff like “The Harrisburg Harridans traded Second Baseman Biff Pringle to the Arizona Alleycats for Short Stop Zut Alors.” Armed with that information, you could talk to someone on the bus, or at work or at a bar. You could debate the wisdom of that deal, as long as the person you were talking to did not disagree with you and did not believe in the “Do you want a mouth full of bloody chicklets?” brand of diplomacy. THAT was a “fan experience”, airing out your knowledge with your own kind.

-Now in the “transactions” section, you’re as likely to read that ” The Dallas Dogcatchers named Cedric Muffleberg Vice-president in charge of fan experience.” What? “Boss, I have arranged for Henry the IV day.” “Cedric, what do you mean?” “Well, the opera about Henry IV opens on May 16th. The opera company will provide full suits of armor for our whole team to wear during the game.” “Cedric, will the other team wear armor?” “No, but the opera company will pay us $250,000!” “Great!”

I donated blood a while ago and the attendant had a badge that read something like” Donor experience ambassador.” Really? At my job the last few years, they mentioned “champions” of different siloed “business lines.” I thought of Freddy Mercury (R.I.P.), and a guy who got a ticket in England and who asked for “trial by combat”. He wanted to fight a champion of the road ministry. They wouldn’t let him.

The Foghorn Leghorn Award awarded to me. My starting salary at the federal government was $3.21 per hour.

See you soon

=PJM=

A confirmed Cat person, Peter dabbled with being a water boy, a paper boy and an altar boy before finally settling on a career with the Canadian federal government.  Once, in his youth, he ate a Dutch  oven full of mashed potatoes to win a 5 cent bet with his beloved sister Mary’s boyfriend. (Of course he was much younger and a nickel went a lot farther!) He has retired to palatial “Chez Montreuil”, which he shares with his diabetic little buddy Reg the Cat. He is blessed to have his dear Lois in his life. He is not only a plastic aircraft modeller, but a proud “rivet counter”. Military aviation and live music are among other interests of his, and he tries to get out to as many shows as he can. He will be here for your enlightenment whenever the stars align. Profile photo courtesy of Pat Blythe, caricature courtesy of Peter Mossman.