Bob Breaks a Promise for Reasons….

Once again, I have been reminded that Life, that Wacky lottery win we are currently sharing with 7 Billion or so other lucky human beings (Lucky, because we are not currently alive as slugs, bugs, skunks, mold, or the NRA’s current yeast infection, Dana Loesch), and have been detoured from my original plan, the Alphabet Soup – Food Edition that everyone is just sooo excited about. I am afraid I must disappoint…again.

I am not going to make excuses or whine, or lie, or simply hide under the bed with a stack of comic books and a bottle of Mr. Happy’s Bonafide Bourbon like I used to, but I will tell you this….

Due to ongoing crisis management, my desire to become actively involved in the rapidly spreading movements to do something about the USA gun problems, Canada’s horrible treatment of our Indigenous Brothers and Sisters (especially, the sisters), Ageism, and the festering, outdated copyright laws that have myself and others like me  paying out money to labels that no longer exist, and people who are no longer on this side of the lawn, I have finished the column I promised, but cannot bring myself to post it just now.

It seems frivolous to me.

I LOVE frivolous.

I’M frivolous…

…but I am just not in the mood.

Because along with everything else I mentioned, I lost an old friend this week.

We exchanged comments on Face Book like we did occasionally, and the next day she was gone.

Just like that.

Unexpected, even to her.

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Sally Stevens

She had been fighting the flu that’s going around, mentioned it sucked online a few times, was seeing her doctor and taking meds and working through it like we all do, living her life, being her witty, bright, interesting self and then…out of the blue…gone.

Sally and Joe Lala from Blues Image, (Ride Captain Ride) both worked at Marshall Brevitz’s Thee Experience on Sunset in Hollywood. That’s where we met.

We weren’t best of friends back in the day, but we saw each other all the time and the circles we ran in crossed paths frequently. We had lots of mutual friends, and shared many laughs, sarcastic observations, and embraced the Sunset Strip, the excitement of late ’60s Hollywood, and our mutual respect and pleasure with being with Elektra Records, the most sought after, and coolest hang in the Basin at that time. She as a publicist and marketing person, me as an artist, she too, was a singer, musician, and songwriter, did time in Nashville, and could keep up with the fastest crowd she could find.

Everybody liked Sally a lot.

Everybody always will.

Sally and Richie Furay (Buffalo Springfield/Poco)

She was very close with some who became stars, legends even, but was grounded and treated everyone the same…like people…because that’s what tenders friendship. It’s hard to trust people who treat you like you’re ‘special’, it’s easier when you’re just ‘one of the gang’.

Reading Jim Cherry’s Obit on his The Doors Examiner website, I thought I would share it with you here.

It is almost exactly what I would have written myself.

You can check out Jim’s site here if you like.

Words from Jim Cherry – Pictures from Heather Harris’s Fast Film Blog….

Some sad news to report, Sally Stevens died last night, February 19, 2018 of pneumonia. Sally was a friend who I only knew online but she was very friendly, helpful and always had a cool story to impart.

Sally was born in England and was part of the swinging London scene, working in the music industry before throwing her lot in with America in the late 60’s coming of course to L.A. She started her L.A. career at the club Thee Experience, and working on a shift she wasn’t supposed to, and a table that wasn’t hers she ran into a drunken Jim Morrison, who berated her and got her fired. She ended up at Elektra Records through Paul Rothchild, and once Morrison learned she was working there, contritely called her, apologized and talked, Morrison would frequently call Elektra just to talk with Sally. She also worked as a publicist, she knew a lot of people as the picture of her with Jackson Brown will attest, over at one of Sally’s friends blog she has put up a memorial of Sally, that includes pictures of her with John Belushi and Jackson Brown.

Sally, Jackson, and John

In the 80’s she had a band with a friend and the moved to Nashville for a while to work on songs there. As of late Sally worked as a paralegal (when she could), related a lot of her stories on her Rockphiles blog, and had recently started work on a book of her life. She loved cats her most recent Jake, and she remembered her past cats. This is but the briefest outline of Sally’s life from what I gleaned talking with her and reading her blog.

Sally with Photog (and mutual friend) Todd Everett

I met Sally online on probably The Doors message board, and on through John Densmore’s message board and Facebook. She was very kind in relating her stories to me, in emails, instant messages, and a few phone calls. She was very kind to support my writing, and always good for a critical appraisal, she kept me honest. I talked to her last November she wanted some advice on a pitch letter for an agent that had shown interest in her book, we talked about 60’s bands, it was a very interesting conversation. Sally will be missed by a lot of people.

Some of her friends have started a gofundme campaign to pay for a proper burial for Sally, I hope you can make a contribution to someone who was a friend to many, and will be missed by all.

Sally with Evelyn ‘Champagne’ King

Sally and Jackson

Visit Heather’s Fast Film Blog Here

UPDATE: Sally’s beloved cat Jake is at The Stray Cat Allliance in L.A. (it’s a no kill shelter but he still needs a home) if any L.A. friends, readers etc can adopt Jake please help. You can email them at Adoptions@StrayCatAlliance.org

I know I am not alone in being shocked by Sally’s sudden and unexpected exit. All I hope is that it was painless, and calm, and that she IS in a better place, a Hollywood that is inviting, new, and exciting, as it was when she first arrived there. She will be missed….

Safe journeys, old friend, safe travels.

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Thanks to Frank Gutch Jr. for reminding me of this old column, I thought I would include it here for two reasons.

  1. To help lighten the mood I’m in…
  2. To remember how to laugh in the face of our ongoing political concerns. We had NO idea just how bad it could get…but we know now. I’m inspired by the Florida Kids and those who are showing their solidarity and belief that it is time to DO SOMETHING. From the hallways of American Schools to the treatment of Canada’s Indigenous Peoples, it’s time we rolled up our sleeves and remind the government that THEY work for US. Be well, be safe, Be Proactive. Me and the Alphabet will be here eventually….

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News

An Ungodly Amount of Republicans Want to Be President

despicable-me-minions4.gif4

If Darwin Awards were given to the most deserving instead of just the dumbest of the dumb whose claim to fame is a single (and generally fatal) random act of stupidity, (which exist in abundance), the vast majority of them would be hurled at almost all of those who wish to be the High (and Mighty) Mucky-Muck of a Nation.

Think about it.

…and while you do, I shall share with you the tell-tale signs exhibited by the men and women who actually want the job because they honestly believe they can make our lives at least a little better than they are now, and maybe, you know, score some chicks, (or free shoes for the Lady candidates…or chicks).

Before we get to those signs, be aware that they are informed by the fact that the people on both sides of the line that separates the worthy from the absolutely horrifying bags of dicks that don’t give a fuck about the Average Joes and Jills, are all victims of fans and foes alike, who, driven by a deep-seated love or hate for people they do not know, know anything about, have never met and probably never will, and base their love or hate on God Only Knows, take it upon themselves to spread any and all rumours, create rumours if none exist, spread falsified facts and figures, and heap praise on the unpraisables, and shovel shit on the un-deserving-of-shit-ables.

giphy (1)

Those of us who watch these always escalating tennis matches being played out for a year or more before an election, are stuck with having to spend every waking hour Googling multiple sources to either verify or dismiss the information we are being inundated with in order to make a decision based on truth instead of the wishful thinking of tree huggers and tree destroyers alike. …and yeah, I know…too many commas, run-on sentences, my syntax sucks, and I make up words to make my point, and a bunch of other stuff I’m not even aware of. Just pretend I’m talking instead of writing. That will help. …and lighten up, I’m just a guy, not a fucking English Professor. Please remember I am just another descendant of the Apes…and you Fundamentalist/Creationists can bite me. If the Earth is only 5000 years old, and the Chinese have been whipping up sweet, delicious food for 5000 years, where the fuck did they go to culinary school?

Vootie

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No one has the time to Google every stupid, mean, crime against humanity or untrue act of compassion and kindness attributed to the herd of hopeful candidates praying to the Deity of their choice to get elected and save us from ourselves, except the homeless…and, according to simple logic even a 2 year old Vulcan knows, the homeless don’t HAVE Google…or anything else…maybe a shopping cart, but that’s about it.

So we don’t check stuff out. We can’t. Not unless we want to destroy our relationships, lose our jobs or become ill because we have no time for our families or jobs, or even time to eat…and even if we took the time to eat, we would have to wear Adult Diapers all the time because THEN we wouldn’t have time to go to the bathroom. …and then we would lose everything. What then? A shopping cart?

No one wants to hear his children say, “Mommy, who is that smelly bearded man hunched over Daddy’s Apple making grunt-y sounds and leaking all over the rug”?

No one.

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So we pretend we ‘know the issues’ and ‘understand the way things work’, and have a Ways and Means Committee of our own comprised of Ed down at work, Bill’s next door neighbor, what’s-his-name, who met Bush Senior one time (“He smelled nice”), Kevin, who reads the news, sports, and weather at the local community radio station and also sweeps up, and Elbert, who just knows things…like that time he picked the guy that won Survivor weeks before that guy won Survivor.

That would be Uncanny Elbert, and we all know one of him. Or fancy ourselves to be one of him.

Elbert

Elbert

(He’s Uncanny!)

No wonder that 9 times out of 10, we nominate and vote for someone who takes our lives and not only makes them worse than they were, but the little hot-air spewing loudmouths actually reward the people who spend a gazillion dollars to help get them elected, and use their influence to sway others and “suggest” to the Jacks and Jills they employ to vote for a “strong pottsAmerica/Canada/Chad/Pottsylvania“, to insure their paycheques don’t decrease any more than they already will. …and then, (thanks to several back room promises we don’t know squat about). once the Puppet…er…President is in his geometrically described office, become the ONLY people who benefit from our uninformed decision, and use the favours bestowed upon them for their help, to swoop down on us like a squadron of flying elephants and just shit all over everything, which through some sort of insane magic known only to them, gives them even MORE money and power.

Maybe I’m being too harsh, but fuck it…that’s what it feels like.

Flying elephants

Seriously…forgive me…but you know that Meme that says “Stop Making Stupid People Famous”? Well, a GREAT many of us are the Stupid People who are responsible for all the Famous Stupid People. Sorry.

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Now then….

The Telltale Signs of a Good Candidate

There aren’t any.

anigif_enhanced-buzz-26769-1365021721-13

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Wait…What? 

Oh relax, I’m kidding. Here they are….

The Telltale Signs of a Good Candidate

God, you are soooo gullible. There aren’t any. Sorry.

giphy

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Okay, okay…that wasn’t very nice. I am truly, truly, sorry. On behalf of my party and my loving wife and family, I swear to you that I will not deceive you again. I will do everything I can to better myself as a person, and continue to make every effort to make your life, everyone’s life, better in every way. You have my word. God bless you, God bless your families, God Bless America!

best-resignations-12

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All right, I give up. There really is NO way of knowing who is telling the truth, let alone what the candidate actually thinks. There is no way to tell if a Lie is benign and used because people would take the truth personally, (i.e; “I have every faith in the American People’s ability to make an informed and thoughtful decision regarding this matter” because the Truth; “Dear God, I am terrified you are going to choose my insane opponent’s self-serving and potentially disastrous agenda which he is keeping from you by telling you what you want to hear“), and elect another Bush, Reagan, or Bush, whose contributions while in office are still being felt in a negative fashion across the globe as well as at home.

President Bush quote

So, a lot of what comes out of politician’s mouths these days is written for them by a media-savvy professional whose job it is to sell the candidate to the public using phrases and touchstones that research has shown to be of concern to the voting public, and it is crucial to the candidate’s public acceptance that he (or she) at least sounds informed on these subjects and can convince the public that he too, shares their concern and has a plan to address them and solve the bush2problems at hand. In the easy to understand parlance of the hard working farmers of America and other countries whose politicians pretend the public’s opinion is important by appearing to acknowledge them until they are elected, these speeches, soundbites, and platform statements are called what they are by a tragically small segment of the populace who do listen, analyze, research, and seek out the facts…but no one listens to them because no one is interested in anyone’s opinion but their own.

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present The Word That Best Describes Most of What is Said by Political Candidates.

Drum roll, please, Mr. Costanza….

tumblr_lqanuyITU41qzlxato1_500

Bullshit

…the word is Bullshit.

There are two sources of Bullshit.

1. Bulls

2. People who want something (money, sex, attention, etc) really, really…realllllly badly.

…and what, exactly, is Bullshit, you ask? Let’s use our Google skills to unleash our ability to access every piece of information known to man through the miracle of technology, and track down as accurate a definition and researched answer as is humanly possible.

Google…ah! Here we go….

spookyAfter just one click, we are on a page with 100s…no, 1000s of choices, and after consulting several reliable suggested sources (5 more clicks and a couple of scrolls), decide that these three brief excerpts will suffice in our quest to retrieve valuable, informative, facts. To quote FBI Agent and well hung Bon-Vivant, Fox “Spooky” Mulder,

truth

The Truth is Out There“…along with kittens playing with puppies, inappropriate selfies, Angry Memes, Angry Birds, Angry Righties, Angry Lefties, and tits. To wit….

“Bullshit (also bullcrap) is a common English expletive which may be shortened to the euphemism bull or the initialism BS.”

tumblr_nbnh6qo3T51rk4lspo1_250And to further clarify….

“Bullshit is commonly used to describe statements made by people more concerned with the response of the audience than in truth and accuracy, such as goal-oriented statements made in the field of politics or advertising”.

For those of you unfamiliar with the term, here’s Princeton University’s resident Philosopher, Professor Harry Frankfurt to explain….

“In his essay On Bullshit (originally written in 1986, and published as a monograph in 2005), philosopher Harry Frankfurt of Princeton University characterizes bullshit as a form of falsehood distinct from lying. The liar, Frankfurt holds, knows and cares about the truth, but deliberately sets out to mislead instead of telling the truth. The “bullshitter”, on the other hand, does not care about the truth and is only seeking to impress:

37. Bob as Captain BSIt is impossible for someone to lie unless he thinks he knows the truth. Producing bullshit requires no such conviction. A person who lies is thereby responding to the truth, and he is to that extent respectful of it. When an honest man speaks, he says only what he believes to be true; and for the liar, it is correspondingly indispensable that he considers his statements to be false. For the bullshitter, however, all these bets are off: he is neither on the side of the true nor on the side of the false. His eye is not on the facts at all, as the eyes of the honest man and of the liar are, except insofar as they may be pertinent to his interest in getting away with what he says. He does not care whether the things he says describe reality correctly. He just picks them out, or makes them up, to suit his purpose.”

Thank you, Professor…and you too, Google. I love you.

Handy Tip!

Here’s an example of the art of bullshit as practiced by those who need to impress the lazy people needed to achieve his (or her) goal.

“This country needs new highways, new bridges, and safer, updated public  means of getting where they are going, to replace our aging and potentially dangerous infrastructure.” …and 2 minutes later in the same speech, “…and I promise I will NOT be raising your taxes one single dime!” (Insanely stupid applause, little flags being waved frantically, thereby cooling off the load of hot air just released.)

Ummmm….

Clown-Car

Group Photo of the Republican Candidates for President 2015

Meanwhile, in Canada….

Harper

Attention to Detail is a Big Part of Stephen Harper’s Campaign. Canada’s Bestest Prime Minster EVER!

,,,and always remember….

frank-zappa-on-politics

Next: I Have Absolutely No Idea….

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Segarini’s regular columns appear here once in a while, depending on the Moon, Mercury being in Gatorade or some-such (ask my GF, I have No idea what that means), and A Magic 8-Ball

Contact us at dbawis@rogers.com

dbawis-button7giphyBob “The Iceman” Segarini was in the bands The Family Tree, Roxy, The Wackers, The Dudes, and The Segarini Band and nominated for a Juno for production in 1978. He also hosted “Late Great Movies” on CITY TV, was a producer of Much Music, and an on-air personality on CHUM FM, Q107, SIRIUS Sat/Rad’s Iceberg 95, (now 85), and now publishes, edits, and writes for DBAWIS, continues to write music, make music, and record.

2 Responses to “Bob Breaks a Promise for Reasons….”

  1. I can read this kind shit all day long. Thanks Bob for your rapier wit and dry-as-toast commentary to help guide us through the day-to-day opaquery of this, our fog of the absurd. And for reminding us that some of those vague and hazy glints through the mist are true beacons of good that should be followed. In the immortal words of George McFly, you are my density.

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