Bob’s Dining and Dancing Saturday Spectacular for Chef Tom

Chef Tom’s column is missing this week…the poor lad  (unlike his fine culinary creations) is burnt to a crisp from pleasing so many palates this past week,. He’ll be back next Saturday, but I didn’t want anyone to go hungry today, soooo….

 

Say what you will about the lowly hot dog, but there are worse things. Kale, for example. Kale and Tofu and black beans and Doritos and bottled water, and soya burgers and whatever that stuff is that people are wolfing down like tortillas…oh yeah…whole wheat tortillas. And please tell the boutique burger people that hamburgers are made from medium ground beef and are flat and don’t weigh half a pound and look like a hockey puck or baseball. Also…use shredded, crisp, iceberg lettuce on burgers…romaine and the rest of them are just limp and wrong…and Miracle Whip is not Mayonnaise. Ever. MIRACLE WHIP IS THE DEVIL

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Pink’s Chili Dog with Mustard and Onions

Anyway, this is the King of Hot Dogs. It is a Pink’s Chili dog with mustard and diced Spanish onions. The chili is bean-free like REAL chili is supposed to be, and the closest thing you can find in Canada to this perfect hot dog chili is the stuff that comes out of the same machine the nacho cheese comes out of at 7-11. Seriously, if the honchos at 7-11 had an inkling of how good it is, they would shove it into cans, label it “7-11 Chili Dog Chili”, and it would be on every grocery store’s shelf from here to everywhere else. If you don’t believe me, grab a take out coffee cup next time you’re in a 7-11, fill it with the free chili, put a lid on it, and barter with the guy behind the counter as to how much you have to pay for it. (I usually end up giving them a toonie).

The Pink’s hot dog itself is a natural casing (held together in a tube of intestine) that pops when you bite into it, and made exclusively for Pink’s by Hebrew National since the 1940s. You can get them in 9 inch or 12 inch versions…well…you can’t, but Pink’s can.

Pinks Hot Dogs

Pink’s are the epitome of Hot Dogs, but this chirpy reporter is annoying beyond belief….

Pinks Chili

Like I said, the next best thing (and close to this) is the machine at 7-11 that dispenses an almost perfect replica…but not quite. If you want the real deal, here’s the recipe to make at home that comes closest….

Now let’s dance off the weight you just gained….

Parov Stellar Shuffle

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San Francisco Crab Louie

First, a little history….

The exact origins of the dish are uncertain, but it is known that Crab Louie was being served in San Francisco, at Solari’s, as early as 1914. A recipe for Crab Louie exists from this date in a publication entitled Bohemian San Franciscoby Clarence E. Edwords, and for a similar “Crabmeat a la Louise” salad in the 1910 edition of a cookbook by Victor Hirtzler, head chef of the city’s Saint Francis Hotel.

Not much to say about this except it is one of the best things to  shove into your mouth whenever you get the chance. Use Dungeness crab, either fresh from a market in San Francisco or any Northern California seafood store, or (in the case of Toronto at least), Kensington Market’s seafood and Jamaican stores, or the St. Lawrence Market downtown. I lose the tomatoes, add pitted black olives, a ton more crab, and use marinated cold white asparagus instead of green. You can find the white asparagus in glass jars in most upscale grocery stores. Also use a chili sauce/ketchup combo, and add a dash of horseradish in your dressing.

Real Dungeness Crab and Vegetables

Crab Louie

Real Seafood – Real Seamen: The Dancing Men (and Women) of the United States Navy

…And Real Vegetables – REAL Vegetables

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Pastrami

Can’t get a decent Old Fashioned Medium where you live? Fuck it! Make your OWN Pastrami….(Our Chef Tom is handsome-er)

The Competition Brisket Video mentioned in the previous Video

Oy, the Dancing!

…and 2 of the greatest Dance Routines ever put on film. ‘Give my Regards to Broadway’ & ‘Yankee Doodle Dandy’ scenes from the 1942 film ‘Yankee Doodle Dandy’. James Cagney shows his versatility in these two song and dance numbers from George M. Cohan’s life story.

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Cioppino

Cioppino was developed in the late 1800s primarily by Italian immigrants who settled in the North Beach neighborhood of San Francisco, many from the port city of Genoa. When a fisherman came back empty handed, they would walk around with a pot to the other fishermen asking them to chip in whatever they could. What ever ended up in the pot became their Cioppino. The fishermen that chipped in expected the same treatment if they came back empty handed in the future. It later became a staple as Italian restaurants proliferated in San Francisco.

My mother made the best, God Rest her Soul, but you can still get the original on Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco. Alioto’s Number 9 and several other places do the dish proud, complete with a wheel of sourdough bread and a bottle of Robert Mondavi Coastal Chardonnay. Good Golly Miss Molly!

This recipe is not written in stone, so experiment. I like scallops, prawns, clams, lobster meat, white fish, and TONS of cracked Dungeness Crab in mine.

Cioppino

…and don’t forget to dance

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The Bone-In Ribsteak

Meat. I love meat. I understand that some people won’t eat meat, even though our teeth are built to be able to eat meat and indicate that we should eat meat, but hey, more for us Omnivores. So, everything is cool…right?…except for the folks who insist on telling us meat-heads that meat is bad for you, has a face, not healthy, etc, etc, etc. To them I say “Shut up and pass the ribs…and please, enjoy your mung beans and tofu kale salad.” See? I am such a nice person. Hand me a roll of paper towels….

Blue, rare, or medium rare…over that, and you don’t DESERVE this Heaven sent Bovine bell-ringer. This is the reason evolution gave us the differently configured teeth we all have. Vegetarians and especially vegans need to understand that this quality of MEAT is essential and pretty much a REWARD for being at the top of the food chain. Enjoy it while you can…land sharks, a plague of zombies, and man made dinosaurs are just around the corner. We’ll be scrounging for shoots, roots, and berries soon enough. Until then, it’s one of these! Pair with Kentucky Sweet Bourbon, garlic mashed, and seared asparagus spears with a garlic mayo dipping sauce.

Working this KING of STEAK meal off is going to take more than one dance…

Feet Get Movin’

…and in case you’re walking home in the rain after eating German food, steal this car and drive home…. 

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Chef Tom will be back next week, Segarini’s regular columns appear here on Friday’s if he is able to get up after eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner in bed

Contact us at dbawis@rogers.com

dbawis-button7giphyBob “The Iceman” Segarini was in the bands The Family Tree, Roxy, The Wackers, The Dudes, and The Segarini Band and nominated for a Juno for production in 1978. He also hosted “Late Great Movies” on CITY TV, was a producer of Much Music, and an on-air personality on CHUM FM, Q107, SIRIUS Sat/Rad’s Iceberg 95, (now 85), and now publishes, edits, and writes for DBAWIS, continues to write music, make music, and record.

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