Peter and Lois

I’m sorry that there was no column from me last week. I suffered a devastating personal tragedy. This week, I am going to write about my greatest personal achievement, to whit, the wooing and winning of the fair Lois Forbes. Parts of this will be from previous columns, part from her obituary and part from the eulogy I gave on Tuesday, September 17th. I hope to “pull back the curtain” and give you some insight into the second most important woman in my life. (My mother edges her only on the basis of seniority.)

WE had met on a dating telephone line, and after some toing and froing, finally met face to face on February 6th, 2002. We hit it off right from the start, she was pretty, witty, smart, well spoken and obviously needed new glasses.

Lois was a larger woman, so in this oversexualized, greedy, body shaming culture, she had body issues. I was able to convince that my interest in taking our relationship to the next level was genuine. Once she realized that, she became an avid participant in our amazing monogamous relationship. We had a wonderful time. We’d wake up on days when we didn’t have to be anywhere, and Lois would ask if she could lie “…on her spot…” Of course I allowed her to. She valiantly tried to keep our love life alive, as the cancer drained her of strength. Heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time.

Oh, did we have fun! We would go out to dinner and just enjoy ourselves. At first, as she was mobile, I’d walk down to Yonge and Bloor, wait for her and then we’d walk home, stopping for dinner on the way. As her mobility issues increased, we’d cab to her place and order in. .One of the secrets to our longevity was that we compromised.

Lois could bring gravitas to any situation. One of my fondest memories is that of sitting on her balcony, eating fast food, just enjoying the moment. Music was a huge part of our lives. When I started my journey into the “indie rock” world, Lois, who had mobility and hearing issues, never said that I couldn’t go. I think we could use more of that attitude.

She was a gentle and kind and generous woman. I am gutted, but sustained by those who show their support. Honey, you can put your head on “your spot” anytime.

If you love someone, tell them. Tell them every single day.

To finish off this week, here are two of Lois’ favourite songs.

(Robert Allen, you may notice Tug McGraw and Jerry Koosman joining the celebration.)

See you soon.

=PJM=

A confirmed Cat person, Peter dabbled with being a water boy, a paper boy and an altar boy before finally settling on a career with the Canadian federal government.  Once, in his youth, he ate a Dutch  oven full of mashed potatoes to win a 5 cent bet with his beloved sister Mary’s boyfriend. (Of course he was much younger and a nickel went a lot farther!) He has retired to palatial “Chez Montreuil”, which he shares with his diabetic little buddy Reg the Cat. He is blessed to have his dear Lois in his life. He is not only a plastic aircraft modeller, but a proud “rivet counter”. Military aviation and live music are among other interests of his, and he tries to get out to as many shows as he can. He will be here for your enlightenment whenever the stars align. Profile photo courtesy of Pat Blythe, caricature courtesy of Peter Mossman.