Bob’s News for Idiots

Day 16,285 of Writer’s block and counting the little tiny tiles on the bathroom floor ….

My Facebook news feed has convinced me …there are people dimmer than a one watt bulb out there, posting nonsense on Facebook, the likes of which have not been seen since Ralph Nader’s followers destroyed the Chevrolet Corvair with lies, stupidity, and false facts. Not since a vast number of people declared Classic Rock as the end all and be all of Musical Accomplishment. …and not since P Puff Diddy Daddy and Kanye West have become wealthy because of …well …damned if I know. So I have decided to share some ‘News’ and “Important Information” here for those of you who embrace the continued ‘belief’ that Hillary is Evil, Trump is Human, and Mitch McConnell is more than a varicose-veined, liver-spotted sack of rotting meat ….

Then again, I may just be in a REALLY REALLY REALLY Bad Mood.

NEWS FOR IDIOTS

HOUSEWIFE IN PARAMUS NEW JERSEY GIVES BIRTH TO  TOASTER OVEN

LAWN JOCKEY ATTACKS SHOPPER FOR NOT WEARING A PEACOCK ON HIS HEAD

ASBESTOS FOUND IN CATHOLIC CHURCH COMMUNION WAFERS

WOMAN’S VAGINA FALLS OFF AFTER MAN REFUSES TO WEAR A MASK WHILE PERFORMING ORAL SEX ON HER

AMERICAN SHOT AT CANADIAN BORDER AFTER BORDER PATROL FIND DOZENS OF BAGS OF KETCHUP POTATO CHIPS HIDDEN IN HIS ANUS

BRITISH ROYAL FAMILY  LINKED TO SALMONELLA IN MARMALADE

THIS DIET CONVERTS FAT INTO ARMANI SUITS AND ITALIAN SHOES

HILLARY CLINTON ARRESTED FOR SELLING ILLEGAL FIREWORKS OUT OF THE CLINTON FLEET OF TACO FOOD TRUCKS

POLICE RAID SECRET DOILY FACTORY OWNED BY MADONNA, ADELE, AND VICE PRESIDENT PENCE

SAN DIEGO ZOO UNVEILS  NEW AMISH HABITAT

HOMELESS MAN WINS WORLD SERIES

THE BODY OF AMELIA EARHART DISCOVERED IN OXNARD DAIRY QUEEN WALK-IN FREEZER

LOCAL MUSICIAN STOLEN OUT OF VAN FULL OF CHEAP MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS

BELOVED POLITICIAN CLAIMS COVID-19 CAN BE CURED BY EATING A CONTAINER OF “I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S NOT BUTTER”, HOPPING UP AND DOWN FOR 5 MINUTES ON YOUR RIGHT FOOT, AND SINGING “WHO LET THE DOGS OUT” INTO A CARDBOARD TUBE

=0=

Any Questions or comments, please write them in the Reply Section below.

Your Comments Are Welcome

Segarini’s regular columns never clot, become lethargic, or steal your thunder.

Bob “The Iceman” Segarini was in the bands Us, The Family Tree, Roxy, The Wackers, The Dudes, The Segarini Band, Cats and Dogs, and The Anger Brothers, and nominated for a Juno for production in 1978. He also hosted “Late Great Movies” on CITY TV, was a producer of Much Music, and an on-air personality on CHUM FM, Q107, SIRIUS Sat/Rad’s Iceberg 95, (now 85), and now publishes, edits, and writes for DBAWIS, continues to write music, make music, and record.