Bob VS The Emmys Part 1

Prologue – From September 12th, 2014

A Reader Writes: Regarding your blog of September 9th, 2014 Mr. Segarini. Except for mentioning Saturday Night Live and Amazing Race, you said nothing about the shows that were nominated for an Emmy at this year’s event, nor who won or who lost. Further, you made no mention of any of the nominees, actors, actresses, or even the names of the shows. Most disturbing of all, you failed to write one single word about the great Robin Williams.

What do you have to say for yourself?

Billy in Banff

Dear Billy, Not much, really…

…but I will say this.

Very little of what entertains me is ever mentioned on The Emmys, The Oscars, The Grammys, or any other mainstream awards show. Occasionally The Golden Globes will do something interesting, like throw a drunk journalist out for throwing up on Harrison Ford’s Florsheims, (who, by the way, make a terrific shoe), but still, all in all, the who and what and why of these awards shows usually blows. Let’s not even mention The Tonys. My Granddaughter does better Jazz Hands.

Tilda Happy 2

My Granddaughter does better jazz hands.

September 16th, 2020

Television has changed a lot since 2014.

The quality of the programming, the amount of shows depicting what up until recently were minor genre niche dramas and comedies, the popularity of British-born ‘Limited Series’, and the wonder and intelligence of streaming whole seasons from day one, television has engaged the audience more than music, the movies, and the printed page. Only the Internet surpasses its audience, but television has infiltrated even that, and is enjoyed not only on the family flatscreens, but on your phones, laptops, tablets,and chromebooks.

An Introduction to The Emmys….

An Emmy

The Emmy Awards 
The Emmy is named after “immy”, an informal term for the image orthicon tube that was common in early television cameras. … The ATAS first awarded the Emmy in 1949 to honor shows produced in the Los Angeles area before it became a national event in the 1950s to honor programs aired nationwide.
First awarded: January 25, 1949; 71 years ago
Awarded for: Excellence in the television industry
Presented by: ATAS/NATAS/IATAS
Country: United States – Wikipedia

From September 9th, 2014

“This is the first Monday Emmys since 1976…Of course people don’t remember the 1976 Emmys…because they were held on a Monday.”                                                                      Seth Meyers

I too, was startled to hear that the Emmys were on television on a Monday night, and, a month earlier than normal. I am not easily shocked, and frankly, this bit of non-news didn’t shock me either, but it reminded me that as of 2 years ago, I had swallowed my pride and deemed myself worthy of watching awards shows again after a 5 decade long boycott. I now had a reason to tune in. I could write about them.

Shocked Romney

Except for the 2012 US election coverage, I haven’t turned on my TV to watch TV for almost 10 years. I, like every other entitled shmoe in the Western Hemisphere, have a hard time tearing myself away from whatever I am doing, just to sit on my ass in front of the TV to watch what the analysts are now calling ‘Appointment” television. In other words, you have to sit down and watch the damn thing when they tell you to watch it.

Except nowadays, most people don’t.

Like music on demand, television and movies are just now beginning to face the reality of a new world, and a new way of doing things. By “new” of course, I am referring to 1999 when Napster kicked open the door to the new delivery system for music, movies, books, and television, but, like an Alien landing on Earth for the first time, Napster was attacked by the villagers (in this case the trigger happy record industry) and brutally murdered before it could give us the gift it brought; instant delivery of entertainment to your home to enjoy at your leisure, whenever you wanted, at a fraction of the cost of warehousing, shipping, manufacturing, and anything else you can think of associated with the old paradigm.

Alien Shot

If an Alien DID land on Earth, especially in the US anywhere outside New York, San Francisco, or L.A, the locals would gun the damn thing down before finding out it had brought the cure for cancer and a replacement for gasoline made out of graham crackers and Kool-Aid. And worse…after the record industry murdered Napster, it occurred to absolutely NONE of them that they could have adopted the technology that Napster had unleashed and MONETIZED it to digitally distribute their wares. Instead of embracing the promise of Napster, they tried to pretend it didn’t happen.

This is why Tech companies now own the record industry, and the Record Industry owns Kanye West. What the heck,  thought the tech companies…if the record industry doesn’t want to control the distribution of their product, I guess we could. And it is the tech companies that are making the lion’s share of the money off of music these days.

And why did the record industry not realize afraidthat the internet and digital delivery was so important to, and the future of, their business?

Because they felt threatened and feared what this technology could do. In this respect, they were ahead of their time. Now….

…Now we are afraid of fucking everything.

=0=

I had already downloaded last night’s VMAs that afternoon, so Tuesday morning around 3 am, before I went to bed, I found and downloaded the Emmys.

I do not feel bad about this in the slightest.

People use DVRs to record shows for later (so much so, that those numbers, and the Internet numbers are now included in the overall ratings of shows, saving some of them from the Beancounter Guillotine) because, like me, who wants to drag themselves away from their Facebook newsfeed or a chat with their Cyber BFF in Mayberry, just to watch another detective catch another serial killer.

We pay through the nose for access to these shows, and then on top of that, we have to sit through hours of constantly repeated, intrusive, rarely entertaining, snake oil and salve salesmen and Dexter the Lumberjackwomen, who all look like local news anchors who spend more money on their hair than they did on their education. Add to that the humiliation of having to stop cleaning your gun until your show is over, or ignoring your child’s need to be fed because you HAVE to see Dexter become a lumberjack or watch ‘Lost’ screw the pooch after 7 years of compelling TV by writing and filming an ending that was so incredibly, jaw-droppingly, insulting, I think they let their kids or Christopher Nolan finish it because they wanted to see something on television and couldn’t finish it themselves.

So, no…I will download or stream as much television as I want. I pay for cable, and God help me, I do (mostly by accident) buy some of the generally mediocre products the well-coiffed Pretty People tell me I HAVE to use/buy/covet, or I will be ostracized from the village and have to live in a tree or under a couple of homeless people, eating off-brand corn chips and drinking a soda no one has ever heard of.

Oh, the shame.

=0=

2014 Emmys

The 66th PrimeTime Emmys….

Seth Myers was a revelation. I wasn’t too familiar with his work, because I tend to avoid Saturday Night Live just as avidly as I try my best to avoid people who call California “Cali”, and hamburgers made of bean curd, wheat germ, and lentils, topped with goat cheese and kale, served on a 12 grain gluten free whole wheat bun.

Nationals on SNLAfter watching him host the Emmys and deftly deliver some old school. funny, and observational one liners and snappy remarks with a self-aware and slightly irreverent smirk, I did my usual exhaustive research on Mr. Myers,  and decided a couple of things. I was still happy I avoided SNL, but made a mental note to not blame him for allowing ‘musical’ groups like The Nationals on the show, (I thought they were a bad sketch that went on too long, not an actual band),  and to forgive him for writing all the actually funny stuff that ever came out of Tina Fey’s mouth and helping her get a career.

Sexy Female FirefighterI also appreciated the fact that he was less smug than I thought he would be. I found that refreshing in a world where satire is only delivered by left-leaning smug junior Will Rogers’s and most popular comedy consists of being clumsy, stupid, or neurotic. Thank God for Louie CK, and the writers of my favourite comedy TV shows, whose credits go by so fast I can’t read their names. Instead of letting these people get their due, they speed up the credits or cover them up because TV stations want to cram another ad or blurb in. “Stay tuned for Smokin’ Hot Buffalo New York Female Firefighters Search for Love!

Myers was engaging and funny and hardly broke a sweat. I might have to download an episode of his late night show just to see if his performance here was a fluke. There was, however,  still a tiny hint of SNL’s penchant for taking a funny idea for a 30 second sketch and turning it into a nap-inducing 3 minute yawn reminiscent of having to sit through your next door neighbor’s 6 year old kid’s performance as a singing snowball in her 1st Grade Christmas Pageant while you are suffering a mind numbingly painful toothache.

=0=

There was a nice, relaxed atmosphere to the Emmys this year. Everybody actually seemed to be having a good time. Of course, a lot of them ARE actors, so it is possible some of them were absolutely miserable.

I still don’t understand why ‘reality’ shows are included in the Emmys night time broadcast. I guess whoever runs these things figure they should include television’s lowest common denominator, because they make the most money for their Network Overlords. If you stop and think about it, ‘reality’ shows (which are about as real as porn stars’ tits) are basically the only television content the networks have that make them any serious money. Unlike the actors in successful sitcoms, and Survivors in Muddramas, you don’t have to pay a postman from Altoona, or a Starbuck Barista from Glendale a million dollars apiece each and every week to sit around in the mud eating grubs for a cash prize. These shows tend to nurture and feed our obsession with watching ‘just plain folks like you ‘n’ me’ go from being our annoying and/or normal  neighbors to being fabulous celebrities. Some, by being the best at housewiving in Dallas, or rooting around in the basements of condemned Mental Hospitals or seedy old houses bathed in the green light of night vision cameras looking for Great-Granddad’s ghost,  or by burning a meatloaf or feeding some culinary judges undercooked chicken. When Amazing Race won the Best Reality Show Emmy this year, 4 rows of the audience stood up and marched to the stage. I stopped counting at 16 by the time they gathered behind the podium to accept the award. Was this the whole cast? The execs? The craft table caterers?  I have no idea.

Most of the show was pretty damn good. So good, in fact, that when something truly lame happened it stuck out like a Kardashian at a Tractor Pull.

September 18th, 2020

But enough of me meandering off and get to the subject at hand, which is this weekend’s running of the 72nd PrimeTime Emmy Awards. The show runs on ABC this Sunday and is hosted by Jimmy Kimmel.

Kimmel is the only late night talk show host I can watch without wanting to take a tire iron to the flatscreen and reduce it to shards of glass, plastic, and metal. SHARDS!!!

Join me tomorrow (Saturday, September 19th, 2020) for Part 2 of this Epic Emmy Pre-Emmy Emmy column when we make our predictions and make fun of stuff. I will also be sharing a few drinking/toking games to play during Sunday’s telecast.

Stock up.

=0=

Any Questions or comments, please write them in the Reply Section below.

Your Comments Are Welcome

Segarini’s regular columns are still mourning the loss of Bunheads, Fringe, Almost Human, and Futurama, but are happy and applauding the news that Sam Elliot is replacing Adam West as the new Mayor of Quahog on Family Guy.

dbawis-button7giphyBob “The Iceman” Segarini was in the bands The Family Tree, Roxy, The Wackers, The Dudes, and The Segarini Band and nominated for a Juno for production in 1978. He also hosted “Late Great Movies” on CITY TV, was a producer of Much Music, and an on-air personality on CHUM FM, Q107, SIRIUS Sat/Rad’s Iceberg 95, (now 85), and now publishes, edits, and writes for DBAWIS, continues to write music, make music, and record.

2 Responses to “Bob VS The Emmys Part 1”

  1. Damon Hines Says:

    Emmy Rossum — Chicago or elsewhere sexy firefighters… Who else?

  2. […] Dissecting Pop Culture Since 2011. Great Music. Great Stories. Great Googa Mooga. « Bob VS The Emmys Part 1 […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: