Archive for the Humour Category

George Carlin – Part Three: Simon Says

Posted in Humour, Opinion, Review, Television, Work with tags , , , , , , on October 5, 2021 by segarini

And the years passed quickly, much like that Kentucky Fried Chicken I found at the side of the highway.  

Although we occasionally admired the same stalks of corn in a field, it took nigh on a decade before Andrew and I had the honor of working for Mr. Carlin again. Ten years in television is equivalent to 17 lifetimes in any other profession. In that devilish and dastardly decennium, we had tragically transmogrified from a couple of talented, plucky kids to gnarly old men who had to chip the barnacles off their souls each morning before coming into work.

Continue reading

Darrell Vickers – George Carlin Part Two

Posted in Humour, life, Opinion, Review, Television, Work on September 28, 2021 by segarini

Life isn’t fair. No siree. It’s a savage, pitiless, relentless beating and every year on your birthday, the world gets a bigger fist. During the enervating eons we have spent dawdling in and around show business, Andrew and I have suffered every sling and arrow that was ever slung or flung from the Precambrian era to modern day (and God only knows what the fucking future holds). We’ve been lied to and lied about. We’ve been called pigs by a prominent Hollywood lawyer. We were fired twice from a job and didn’t leave for another five-and-a-half years. We’ve had studios steal from us. We’ve had our agency betray us. We once had our material thrown into a furnace by a disgruntled exec. In short, we’ve been accused of every sleazy, slimy act of perfidy short of impregnating Octomom and installing the smoke alarms at the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory.

Continue reading

Darrell Vickers – George Carlin: Part One – He Hired Who?

Posted in Humour, life, Opinion, Review, Television, Work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on September 21, 2021 by segarini

     In 1973, George Carlin was an absolute filthy sensation. “FM & AM”, “Class Clown” and “Occupation: Foole” had taken an easily scandalized world by storm. Who knew mentioning “cocksucker, motherfucker and tits” (which sounds like Jimmy Swaggart’s room service order at a Baptist convention) could be so uproarious? I can recall precisely where I was the first time I laid my tender ears upon “The Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television.” A shindig was being thrown for the young and swingin’ volunteers of the local, government-mandated Cable Access station. We, the young and unpaid, sat around that north Oshawa living room in stitches while Bill Ridell, the government-mandated station manager, mimed along with the shockingly brilliant piece.

Continue reading

Darrell Vickers – Oh, You’re Back

Posted in Humour, life, Opinion, Review, Television, Work with tags , , , , , , , , , , on September 14, 2021 by segarini

From California to Coventry

As Inquisitionally torturous as traversing the U.S. of A. by bus had been heading due west, at least our ultimate destination was the undisputed entertainment capital of the world. Andrew and I were now being forced to endure the very same 72 hour crucible, trapped inside an unhygienic, glaciated stink-pit, just to get back to Oshawa. Clearly, we were being subjected to unspeakably cruel and unrelenting retribution for the simple crime of intermittently enjoying ourselves.

Continue reading

Darrell Vickers – First Trip Part 2 – Making Up Reality

Posted in Humour, life, Opinion, Review, Television, Work with tags , , , , , , , , , on September 7, 2021 by segarini

Andrew and I had been ensconced in the fire-hazard hills above the City of Angels for about a week and fortune had smiled down upon us like it thought we were somebody else. I’d shared a chat and a giggle with a half-naked woman, we’d eaten at The Sizzler and my apartment in Oshawa began to seem like a badly decorated, foul-smelling dream. By the time The Fifth Estate arrived, Nicholls & Vickers had become as Hollywood as a high colonic gift certificate.

Continue reading

Darrell Vickers – The First Visit: Part One – The Naked and the Red

Posted in Humour, life, Opinion, Review, Television, Work with tags , , , , , , on August 10, 2021 by segarini

Preface:

While I shall be highlighting some mildly unflattering aspects of Alan Thicke’s character in the peerlessly eloquent pages before you, I wish to take great pains to note that Alan recognized our talent more than any living soul in Canada. He thought enough of what Andrew and I had to offer to invite us down to L.A. and billet us in his guest house. Was he a tough boss to work for? PHEW! Read on. But he opened up vast new worlds for us and forever changed our lives and for that I will always be deeply grateful.

Continue reading

Darrell Vickers – A Trip to Not Very Bountiful

Posted in Humour, life, Opinion, Review, Television, Work with tags , , , , , , on August 3, 2021 by segarini

There were some mega, whopping and ultra ginormous Scooby-doings goin’ down at The Comedy Bank! Mr. Haley was practically vibrating when he called us. He’d just concluded a convivial chin-wag with THE Alan Thicke. Alan had read an article his mother had snipped from a local publication and wished to sample the wares of Graham’s stable of sardonic scribes. Al generously provided areas of his public persona that could be mined for levity and was anxious to see what the jolly jesters at the Bank would come up with. This was precisely the kind of phone call I’d been dreaming about since my parents replaced the crib in my nursery with a foosball table. In fact, I still have a birthmark in the shape of a left midfielder’s head.

Continue reading

Darrell Vickers – Graham Haley Part One – Regret-O-Grams, I’ve Had A Few

Posted in Humour, life, Opinion, Review, Work with tags , , , , , on July 20, 2021 by segarini

Preface:

Right off the top, I’d like to state that Graham Haley is a confrere of the highest standing. Besides being a talented actor and voiceover specialist, Mr. Haley possesses a heart and soul that are thoroughly imbued with the entrepreneurial spirit. In the grand tradition of Ford, Carnegie and Edison before him, a passel of his epiphanies were absolute corkers, like his massively successful series of Haley’s Handy Hints books but some of the money-making seeds he enthusiastically planted fell well short of a bumper harvest. In this column, I shall be recounting our involvement in some of his lesser endeavors. 

Continue reading

Darrell Vickers – You Have to Start Somewhere, Why Not Hamilton? (The Place not the Play) …Though There Are Plays Mentioned.

Posted in Humour, life, Opinion, Television with tags , , , , , , on July 13, 2021 by segarini

If we’re being truthful, and I realize that that is an astronomic proviso, there is very little that gets accomplished immediately after one is born. You sit around all day, shit in your pants and bitch and cry about the least little thing. Basically, you’re a network executive until your fourth birthday.

Continue reading

Darrell Vickers – The Magic Hour Part 9: Mark of the Devil

Posted in Humour, life, Opinion, Review, Television with tags , , , , on July 6, 2021 by segarini

Tony DeSena had been toiling on The Magic Hour for barely a week but the writer from hell, part-time arch-villain and avid narcotic partaker, Mark Poisonpen, had decided that the Tonester had to go. Marky never been so insulted. Work was being asked of him in return for his laughably grandiose salary. This outrage would not stand, man! But how could this young, plucky lad from Hollywood, who was personally financing El Chapo’s summer home, ever hope to Tanya Harding his over-demanding boss?

Continue reading