Archive for the Television Category

Darrell Vickers – Shut Up Kids Part 3 – Production Everything About it is Appealing!

Posted in Opinion, Review, Television with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 13, 2020 by segarini

Every young writer’s wet dream of dreams is to get a pilot picked up and have it coroneted as a network series. A Holy Grail filled with Hebrew National Hotdogs. It’s the equivalent of finding out your rich uncle died and left you his sex cult. It’s like going to the cupboard and discovering someone has eaten all your Fiber One cereal and all that’s left is Captain Crunch. Like finding out the doctor who gave you your last colonoscopy died very slowly in a car wreck. But it’s not all candy corn sprinkled with fructose. No siree Robert. By the time we reached the conclusion of this torturous, tortuous road, Andrew Nicholls and I looked worse than Nick Nolte’s mugshot.

Continue reading

Darrell Vickers – Shut Up Kids Part 2: Casting – A Little Dab’ll Do Ya

Posted in Opinion, Review, Television with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 29, 2020 by segarini

Very few execs dare to call themselves writers. Sitting alone in a room for hours on end, pounding out words that some future idiot will tear to pieces, is not a lot of fun. It is work of the dullest nature. Drudgery. For many, it is tedium beyond the endurance of saints.  Like having psychotic gnomes drilling birdhouse-sized holes into your cerebral cortex as you stare bleakly at a white computer screen that mocks your suffering. The abject blood-freezing fear of the untyped page has turned even the most talented of scribes to booze, drugs, bocce ball and eventually blessed death.

Continue reading

Darrell Vickers – Shut Up Kids

Posted in Opinion, Review, Television with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 22, 2020 by segarini

For the Want of a Horse

Andrew Nicholls and I were finishing up our last year of The Tonight Show and we were busier than Robert Downey Jr.’s lawyer in the ‘90s. Any reasonably priced writing assignment that didn’t involve a rapping kangaroo was graciously accepted.

Continue reading

Bob VS The Emmys Part 2-ish

Posted in Opinion, Review, Television with tags , , , , , , , on September 19, 2020 by segarini

Bob VS The Emmys Part 1 can be found here

It’s been a while since I’ve covered an awards show, and quite frankly, I’m surprised I’m kinda sorta covering this one …but I kinda sorta owe television a solid for a pretty good reason. Continue reading

Bob VS The Emmys Part 1

Posted in Opinion, Review, Television with tags , , , , , , on September 18, 2020 by segarini

Prologue – From September 12th, 2014

A Reader Writes: Regarding your blog of September 9th, 2014 Mr. Segarini. Except for mentioning Saturday Night Live and Amazing Race, you said nothing about the shows that were nominated for an Emmy at this year’s event, nor who won or who lost. Further, you made no mention of any of the nominees, actors, actresses, or even the names of the shows. Most disturbing of all, you failed to write one single word about the great Robin Williams.

What do you have to say for yourself?

Billy in Banff

Dear Billy, Not much, really…

…but I will say this.

Very little of what entertains me is ever mentioned on The Emmys, The Oscars, The Grammys, or any other mainstream awards show. Occasionally The Golden Globes will do something interesting, like throw a drunk journalist out for throwing up on Harrison Ford’s Florsheims, (who, by the way, make a terrific shoe), but still, all in all, the who and what and why of these awards shows usually blows. Let’s not even mention The Tonys. My Granddaughter does better Jazz Hands.

Continue reading

Darrell Vickers – The Paul Sands of Iwo Jima

Posted in Opinion, Review, Television with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 15, 2020 by segarini

When the treacherous and unpredictable seas of art and commerce enervate even the most dauntless of our kind, itinerant scribes oft times find themselves in want of a home. A sufficiently peaceful harbor in which to moor their buffeted and battered vessels. ‘Tis then we weary wordsmiths seek out a major studio in hopes of procuring an overall deal.

Continue reading

Darrell Vickers – Your Package Has Arrived

Posted in life, Opinion, Television with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 28, 2020 by segarini

When The Tonight Show was cantering through its year-long goodbye victory lap, Andrew Nicholls and I were far from coasting to the finish line, sipping jumbo daiquiris and hoovering astonishing powders out of topless starlets’ Miu Miu pumps. While Johnny was retiring to enjoy his riches, Malibu estate, yacht and the loving arms and legs of his young 4th wife, Andrew and I had accumulated families that required regular feedings.

Continue reading

Darrell Vickers – It’s Only Words: How Hollywood Made Me Thicke to My Thtomache

Posted in life, Opinion, Review, Television with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 21, 2020 by segarini

I became a professional scribe at the tender, pre-Tinder, age of 18. Since the halcyon days of my humble, date-free youth, words have fed my family and made it possible for me to accumulate a record collection that would sink most medium-size boats. While I have enjoyed an unreasonable amount of success through the decades, armed with only pen in hand and the dictionary in my head, in show business there is forever a micro-thin line between gainful employment and having to mug a giant-arrow-spinning condo clown for his Subway coupons. This is the harrowing, tongue-swallowing tale of how a couple of simple words almost cost me my entire Hollywood career, just as it was breaching the birth canal.

Continue reading

Peter and Betty Get Ignited

Posted in Family, life, Opinion, Television with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on June 25, 2020 by segarini

My last column touched on the process of getting Internet and cable access at Chez Montreuil. As a lot happened after my press deadline, I decided this week to fill in the blanks for you, Loyal Reader.

Continue reading

Bob Continues to Explain Why the American Music Awards Were So Darned Magical

Posted in music, Opinion, Review, Television with tags , , , , , , , , , , on November 29, 2019 by segarini

Miss Part One? Click here

There were only 4 responses to my request for comments favouring a Part 2 concerning the 2019 AMAs, 3 of which half-heartedly clamored for one (probably because they are nice people and thought if they didn’t it would hurt my feelings), and the 4th from an old friend and fellow scribe/music hostage/old guy complaining about how impossible it is to read these columns because of the white words and black background.  The words are actually light grey and the black is called “Midnight Black”, but try as I might (and believe me, I’ve tried), it can’t be done. AND, If I change it, 2500 columns will be affected and look like poop, so, sorry Richard. Also, having Glaucoma makes reading black print on white difficult for me, producing headaches and the occasional sneezing fit, so …I will send my friend a copy of the book when it’s finally done, which will be black on white, but with not many pictures, because other than my own personal pictures, the pictures I use in these columns I swipe from other sites and some want me to PAY for them! I mean, really …have you EVER?

Now then …where were we ….?

Continue reading