Darrell Vickers – The Ballad of Sweet John Dugan Part Two: Danger Bay, Will Robinson!

The moment of truth was upon us like a bachelor elephant on a Mr. Peanut love doll. We had journeyed nigh on one hundred yards and walked up a full flight of stairs, but now, with our treacherous trek finally at an end, we found ourselves comfortably seated before the bewigged-one. Benevolent John shone his blinding light of ultimate cognition, and the need for a gripping act break, upon our eager and sponge-like cerebellums. Soon we were armed with the scads and skeins and scoops of essential information required to make a whiz-bang sale.

Peter Be Talkin’ ‘Bout “Interactions”

“May I Help You”?

It was a late spring Friday afternoon, and the office was quiet. A glance at the wall clock would remind you that if you could get through the next hour without punching someone in the nose, you would have the whole weekend to recover. As I strolled toward my boss’s office, I could see that the manager had dropped in for a quick visit. My puckish sense of humour kicked in and I entered the office, looking at the floor and dusting my hands off. “Well, I got rid of the guy”, I said. Then I pretended to notice the manager standing there, so I snapped to attention, threw a credible Royal Navy salute (a) and said “I mean, I successfully completed the citizen interaction, sir!” The manager shook his head, chuckled and probably thought that if he could get through the next hour without punching someone in the nose, he would have the whole weekend to recover. 

Bob’s Completely Unfocused Journal of Important Issues (wherein the Ukraine, Covid, The Beatles, blind truckers, semi-famous people, and more, collide in a cacophony of broken glass, spilt drinks, and trips to the bathroom, and converge to brighten your day …or not)

Deserved or not, Human Beings have been firmly sequestered at the top of the food chain on this planet for the past 4 or 5 thousand years.

As far as planets go, out of the Gazillion or so that zip through space in their little orbits around almost as many stars, we lucked out and got one you can honestly label as a Paradise.

Darrell Vickers – Ted Zeigler Part 8 – Lights, Camera, Radio!

Andrew and I had found our tiny acorn. A funny-dressed, putty-foreheaded, professional goof who living in a rundown bungalow he bought off Cher’s mother. Eventually, this eccentric acorn would grow to make us two of the most envied writers in Hollywood. But, as today’s story begins, our little seed was hosting a CBC Radio pilot for us for a lousy six hundred bucks.

Darrell Vickers – Ted Zeigler Part 6: On a Winger and a Prayer

Time waits for no man but it can make your colors more vibrant and your whites even white-ier. Sorry, that’s Tide. I always get those two mixed up. Forget I ever said anything.

A New Beginning:

While our rubber-faced future manager was scattering the unfunny ashes of the Sonny and Cher reunion show over the gritty-to-the-taste waters of the Ganges, Murray had a drastically different, more revolutionary idea about where his glimmering future lay. No longer would he be beholden to “The Man” for his thin, sugar-free slice of the pie. Langston Enterprises would forge its own resplendent destiny and create a veritable Marie Callender’s of fruit-filled crusts for him to feast upon. 

Thusly, our fiscally astute funnyman decided to pour the entirety of his hard, TV-earned cash into a comedy club – a business venture that traditionally has the lifespan of listing fairground goldfish.

Darrell Vickers – Ted Zeigler: Part Five – Cher and Cher Alike

Life has many ups and downs. Ebbs and flows. Yins and Yangs. Windshields and wipers. Lavernes and Shirleys. I think you get where I’m going with this.  

“The Sonny and Cher Show” was a huge hit but Ted’s marriage was not. After a number of shaky years and some very frosty fluffing of pillows, his “Let no man put asunder” had finally collapsed like a Walmart garden shed. The compulsorily bachelored Zeigler suddenly found himself residing in a Hollywood apartment barely big enough to accommodate his chin, while the rest of his family continued to abide with his ex in the most Christian town this side of Nuremburg, Thousand Oaks.

UPDATE! – A Message from Bob

DBAWIS will start publishing columns again this coming Friday, December 3rd 2021. The spanner in the works has been the fact that my building is, for the 4th and 5th times in just over a month, turning off the electricity here to do more work on the electrical system …this time from 9:00 am until 4:00 pm again tomorrow, (Tuesday, November 30th) and Wednesday.

We’ll be kicking off the short run of DBAWIS until our Annual Holiday Hiatus with my full review and thoughts concerning Peter Jackson’s “Get Back” documentary.

See you then.

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Darrell Vickers – Ted Zeigler Part Four: It’s Always Sonny in California

By 1971, Theodore L. Zeigler’s career was at its zenith. And you could watch him on your Zenith every Sunday night by way of “The Sonny and Cher Show.” The Face that Launched a Thousand Quips quickly graduated from doing spot work on “The Andy Williams Show,” where he was caught committing acts against the laws of hibernation with Cookie Bear, to being a full-time regular on a top ten smash hit. And that’s where he met…

Darrell Vickers – Ted Zeigler Part Three: Hollywood!

By the 1960s-killing-year of 1970, Ted had decided to seek fame and fortune in a place where a vast majority of people with that very same dream end up as drug addicts, prostitutes and off-ramp pre-loved churro vendors. But having streets paved with the shattered souls of generations of the young and hopeful did not make him any less amorous for the glamorous, so he loaded up the truck and he moved to Beverly.

Peter Suggests you Get Back in Line

Don’t you hate “entitled” people? You know, the ones who, for example, just have to push their way into the line, seeking to claim their “rightful place” at the head.

Loyal Reader, not only do I abhor these boors, but I challenge them at every turn. I always have, and I always will. You see, I believe that things go best if everyone exercises courtesy in their daily routine. I know, I sound like a dreamer at best and a naif at worst, but “hope springs eternal”.