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Darrell Vickers – Chapter Twelve: Watch Out For This Asshole

Posted in Fiction, Serialized Book with tags , , , , , , on July 23, 2019 by segarini

The next day, the ennui had returned.  That is, if I had ennui.  I can’t remember exactly what it is.  It sounds French and I know that Lou Reed wrote a song about it on the “Sally Can’t Dance” album and it was a pretty sad song so it’s got to have something to do with being bummed out, right?  Anyway, if I wasn’t ennuied, I was definitely bummed out.  Artie had been at my Sugar Smacks again and I had to have Carla’s waffles for breakfast.  But that wasn’t really why I was feeling so bummed.  That’s why I was feeling so nauseous.  No, this bummedoutedness (that’s got to be a word – especially in this day and age) was because I was feeling lost.

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Darrell Vickers – Chapter Eleven You Better Bite the Head Off That So It Doesn’t Follow You Home

Posted in Fiction, Serialized Book with tags , , , , , , on July 16, 2019 by segarini

I don’t know what was wrong with me.  No matter how great things were getting, no matter how my garden of good fortune kept sprouting new blossoms, I just couldn’t stop thinking about “you know who”.  I mean, we spent some time together in the common room and we’d had a drink but it’s not like we were best buddies.  If you get right down to it, she wasn’t even my type.  Sure, she was beat-your-knob-with-a-claw-hammer beautiful and smelled like springtime in the mountains, but Alchemy was a little too driven for my taste.  There wasn’t a lot of “sit back with a Bud and put your feet up” in that girl.  Harvey had started posting a Salesman-of-the-Month plaque in the lobby.  Her iridescent face had been on that thing ever since it was put up.  I was making a South-American-Dictator fortune; I can’t even imagine how much Alchemy must have been pulling down.  All I know is, she wasn’t pulling anything else down.  Tut tut.  There I go, thinking about sex again.

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Darrell Vickers – FtN Chapter Ten: You Mean?…Exactly!

Posted in Fiction, Serialized Book with tags , , , , , , on July 9, 2019 by segarini

I wrote a large check and Polo fucked-off to do whatever it is I hired him to do and I went to have a last cup of gourmet coffee before heading home to my new house and furniture.

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Darrell Vickers – Chapter Nine: He Came Back For His Propeller

Posted in Fiction, Serialized Book with tags , , , , , , on June 25, 2019 by segarini

It was super fortunate that I had already earned my first advance back because now it was all gone and then some.  The next morning I was back at Harve’s door with a very large hat in hand.  I heard his usual, cheery and stentorian voice beckon me hither.   I wonder if anyone has ever been beckoned yon.  I suppose it’s possible.

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Darrell Vickers – FtN: Chapter Eight Kraproom

Posted in Fiction, Serialized Book with tags , , , , , , on June 18, 2019 by segarini

Meanwhile, across town, Randy was doing a few morning lines off his new glass-top coffee table.  His living room was piled to the ceiling with new ultra-prestigious tech crap; most of it still unpacked.  A gigantic flat screen television was left leaning up against the wall.  He’d taken his top-of-the-line Bang and Asshole-ifson stereo out of the boxes but hadn’t bothered to wire it up.  It was like being a complete jerk-off had consumed his entire life and he just didn’t have time for anything else.  This was especially true now that he’d become a full time snowman.
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Darrell Vickers – Farting Through Nylon: Chapter Seven – You Want Some JELLLLLLLYYYY!?

Posted in Fiction, Serialized Book with tags , , , , , , on June 11, 2019 by segarini

The sudden influx of major money was having an ever-increasing effect on the people in the office.  Nothing about Alchemy changed, of course.  She was still a little paranoid.  Always trying to be the top of the class.  Her phone let her know when to take a break and when to get back to the phones.  When to eat.  How many calories to eat.  If that phone told her when to take a shit and fart, she probably would have obeyed.  I’m not sure if they have an app for that yet.

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Darrell Vickers – Farting Through Nylon Chapter Six: Turn It Up To Frenzy!

Posted in Fiction, Serialized Book with tags , , , , , , on June 4, 2019 by segarini

I think if I were writing a movie instead of a can’t-put-it-down bestseller, I’d make the next few scenes into one of those quick-cut montages to the tune “Money” by Pink Floyd.  Or perhaps “It’s Money That I Love” by Randy Newman.  That day became a veritable cavalcade of unbridled greed and sneaking around.  First it was Flora from Duke, then Josh from John Hopkins and a couple of Brown grads.  Punjab dashed out and actually bought Harvey flowers before asking for his advance.  Randy waited until Brian summoned up the courage to knock on Harvey’s door, then he ran up and pushed him over a big plant pot and walked into the office himself.  What a dick.

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