In the epic pages that follow, I will weave a tale of a love so pure and transcendent, that angels will have to dab tears from your soggy cheeks as you read. Your heart cockles may also become exceedingly warmed, so wearing a non-flammable shirt or blouse is advised. The majestic pallets of dazzling color, that can ordinarily only be seen on the Hi-Def National Geographic Channel, may seem drab in comparison to the blindingly exotic world I shall paint with mere words. Prepare thyself. The powerful, nay, volcanic dénouement that I will unleash will leave you physically drained and emotionally spent. And you might also want to procure a snack, because once you start reading this sucker, you’re not going to want to put it down.
Okay, you’ve been warned. My obligations, as a responsible author, have been fulfilled.
Now we can begin.
