Archive for Cherry Cola’s

Pat Blythe – A little BoRap, More Indie Week …and Music!

Posted in Opinion, Review with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 14, 2018 by segarini

Well this is going to take a while. A full six days of Indie Week including a fabulous launch party  and a very private event at a very secret location, three days on the road with ONES, Horseshoe and Hideout gigs, an MCN Open Mic farewell and move, Pretzel Logic at the Orbit Room….and I’m sure I’m forgetting something in there….. I know I won’t get this all in one fell swoop but needless to say it’s been a non-stop roller coaster ride. Going back to front, let’s start with…. Oh but first…….

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Bob Fixes Everything

Posted in Opinion, politics, Review with tags , , , , , , , , on November 5, 2018 by segarini

Like a cow, I have a Tipping Point.

And I reached it years ago. Or rather, I recognized it years ago.

I became distracted, unable to focus, began having trouble enjoying myself, my mind wandering from problem to problem, overwhelmed, unable to concentrate…and I found that I wasn’t the only one suffering from this malaise.

I started paying more attention to what everyone else was talking about on Social Media, on the TTC, in elevators, in check out lines, and on talk radio.

Talking. Complaining. Whining. Yelling. Arguing. …but doing nothing.

From everyday bullshit to world wide idiocy, we have become numb and complacent and defeated. Negativity rules over Positivity.

Well, Boys and Girls…

Time to put on the tool belt and fix this shit….

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Segarini – Janis (updated with 2 short audio clips)

Posted in Interview, Opinion, Review with tags , , , , , on October 12, 2018 by segarini

 

The phone rang for quite a while before I realized it wasn’t part of a dream I was having, but actually ringing in the Real World. Its insistent clatter, sounding more like a fire alarm than a phone, woke me from some quality REM sleep and a dream I do not recall except for the dim memory of naked hippie girls with flowers in their hair and sex on their minds, all dancing before me in a sylvan glen surrounded by a stand of Giant Sequoias in which, besides the lovely bevy of lustful chickies named Moonbeam, Sunflower and Debbie, there stood a Pink’s Hot Dog Stand and Tony Curtis’s limousine. Go figure.

Too tired to be angry and unable to open my eyes just yet, I groped around in the bed’s headboard until I located the source of my sudden departure from Heaven and wrestled the receiver from its cradle, pranging my wife on the head with the damn thing and waking her up as well.

It was 7:00 am. October 4th 1970 Continue reading

Segarini – Stopping the Stupid – Another Monday Filler

Posted in Opinion, Review with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on October 8, 2018 by segarini

Here’s the problem….

It’s a holiday in Canada. Thanksgiving, to be exact. We celebrate it a month before Our Pants (that’s YOU, Mr. and Mrs. America) because we like to get it out of the way before the snow comes and turns our roads into slip n’ slides, our wives and girlfriends into our mothers, and ourselves (the men) into starry eyed dreamers who think the Leafs have a chance, the Blue Jays need us to manage them, and whoever our Prime Minister is, is a Poop of the Nincom variety.

My guess (always educated, never mitigated) is that the vast majority of our Canadian brethern and sistern are either just recovering from a turkey-induced tryptophan coma, or about to sit down to a bird-laden card table and ENTER a turkey-induced tryptophan coma. Either way, the result will render today’s column an afterthought and almost impossible to read passed out in front of the flatscreen with your belt undone, pants unzipped, and drool piling up on your shirt like the glaze on a Krispy Kreme donut. Sooo…my promised column has been booted to this coming Friday (where it belongs), Gary Pig Gold’s is postponed until NEXT Monday, and tomorrow, as a reward, the first chapter of Darrell Vicker’s new book begins the serialization of said book, ‘Bu House -Here Comes the Sun. Those gems require your attention, and today, you really don’t have any, so I offer this relevant rerun for those of you who can read while the game is on, the gravy dries on your shirt, or can read even though you are asleep or drunk or adrunksleep.

…and if you don’t believe that tryptophan is the reason you’re dazed and confused, blame it on the Bossa Nova.

 

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A Segarini Rerun – Bob’s Scrapbook of Awesomeness and Oddities For Modern Boys and Girls

Posted in Opinion, Review with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 3, 2018 by segarini

It’s Labour Day! And what better way to celebrate Labour Day than by spending it labouring! While the rest of you lie on the beach, or eat the latest CNE bacon wrapped-deepfried-chocolate covered-peanut butter-dill pickled Midway treat, or sit in traffic on your way back home from wherever you are, I will be moving the last of the boxes and bags from one room to another in order to accommodate a new roommate whose last-minute addition to my life will enable me to keep a roof over my head, food on the table, and who can dial 911 if I accidently lock myself in the bathroom again. Think of me while your ice cream cone melts all over your hand or someone side swipes your car while you wait in line for a burger at Weber’s.

See you tomorrow, when the temperature drops from 100 degrees to ‘Where the fuck are my Ice scraper, toque, and gloves’?                                 Bob – September 3rd, 2018

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The Bob Helpline (and Handy Hints) Rides Again

Posted in Opinion with tags , , , , , , , , on August 3, 2018 by segarini

In sorting through over 6 years worth of my DBAWIS columns in preparation of a book featuring some of my best work here and supplemented by some new stories written especially for what I hope will be Volume number one of a series, I came across this particular example of the occasional silly post I contribute to this circus.

These articles basically write themselves and I have very little control over the why and what for of them. Usually, I sit down to write a new column with an idea in mind and work from there, but once in a while (after staring at a blank screen for several minutes) something totally unrelated will pop into my head and I start to type.

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Bob Presents E. Ray Pancake’s Fake News, Bullshit, and Out and Out Lies

Posted in Opinion with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 6, 2018 by segarini

Hi.

I’m Bob.

…and being Bob and of a certain age, I must be honest and let you know that because of the heat I am unable to type very much due to a little known condition called “Beckett’s Wobble Fingers”, brought on by the bones in my fingers turning to a rubber-like substance due to eating too much Play Doh as a child. The heat triggers it and I am unable to push down on the keys of my keyboard because my digits are too soft to push hard enough to make them click and form words with letters. This intro is being typed by my housekeeper and care-giver, Dorito Espenoza, a woman who has served my family since the unfortunate events of June 14th, 1946.

Without further ado, Here’s E. Ray…and Senor Bob, you owe me extra for typing this. Stiff me this time, and I will pour red ants in your underwear drawer again….

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