Archive for Cherry Cola’s

A Segarini Rerun – Bob’s Scrapbook of Awesomeness and Oddities For Modern Boys and Girls

Posted in Opinion, Review with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 3, 2018 by segarini

It’s Labour Day! And what better way to celebrate Labour Day than by spending it labouring! While the rest of you lie on the beach, or eat the latest CNE bacon wrapped-deepfried-chocolate covered-peanut butter-dill pickled Midway treat, or sit in traffic on your way back home from wherever you are, I will be moving the last of the boxes and bags from one room to another in order to accommodate a new roommate whose last-minute addition to my life will enable me to keep a roof over my head, food on the table, and who can dial 911 if I accidently lock myself in the bathroom again. Think of me while your ice cream cone melts all over your hand or someone side swipes your car while you wait in line for a burger at Weber’s.

See you tomorrow, when the temperature drops from 100 degrees to ‘Where the fuck are my Ice scraper, toque, and gloves’?                                 Bob – September 3rd, 2018

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The Bob Helpline (and Handy Hints) Rides Again

Posted in Opinion with tags , , , , , , , , on August 3, 2018 by segarini

In sorting through over 6 years worth of my DBAWIS columns in preparation of a book featuring some of my best work here and supplemented by some new stories written especially for what I hope will be Volume number one of a series, I came across this particular example of the occasional silly post I contribute to this circus.

These articles basically write themselves and I have very little control over the why and what for of them. Usually, I sit down to write a new column with an idea in mind and work from there, but once in a while (after staring at a blank screen for several minutes) something totally unrelated will pop into my head and I start to type.

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Bob Presents E. Ray Pancake’s Fake News, Bullshit, and Out and Out Lies

Posted in Opinion with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 6, 2018 by segarini

Hi.

I’m Bob.

…and being Bob and of a certain age, I must be honest and let you know that because of the heat I am unable to type very much due to a little known condition called “Beckett’s Wobble Fingers”, brought on by the bones in my fingers turning to a rubber-like substance due to eating too much Play Doh as a child. The heat triggers it and I am unable to push down on the keys of my keyboard because my digits are too soft to push hard enough to make them click and form words with letters. This intro is being typed by my housekeeper and care-giver, Dorito Espenoza, a woman who has served my family since the unfortunate events of June 14th, 1946.

Without further ado, Here’s E. Ray…and Senor Bob, you owe me extra for typing this. Stiff me this time, and I will pour red ants in your underwear drawer again….

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Segarini – Q: “Hot Enough for You?” A: “Go Fuck Yourself”

Posted in Opinion, Review with tags , , , , , , , , , , on June 29, 2018 by segarini

I hate hot weather.

I don’t hate many things, but I HATE hot weather.

I dislike things that are not to my taste, I rarely feel the desire to hate anything because it is negative energy, and negative energy is toxic. Life is too short to waste the energy, or allow negative thoughts to waste your valuable time, but with the exception of one human being I would love to see get run over repeatedly, shot, drowned, set on fire and eaten by wolves or household pets, I LOATHE hot weather…and be aware that murder statistics go up when it is 90 degrees or hotter.

It’s going to be triple digits this weekend.

…and make that TWO people I would love to see karma-lized and turned into an order of McNuggets….THEN get run over repeatedly, shot, drowned, set on fire and eaten by wolves or household pets

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Bob VS Social Media – Full Disclosure and a Snake!

Posted in Opinion, Review with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on June 22, 2018 by segarini

When I first landed on Social Media, I was smitten with the opportunity to reach 1000s of people with a few key strokes and hitting ‘enter’, or being able to have a conversation with someone without holding a phone to my ear by using Messenger to ask or answer a question without interrupting whatever I was working on for more than a few seconds.

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Pat Bythe – Saying Goodbye…and Music!

Posted in Opinion, Review with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 20, 2018 by segarini

A blank page. I’m staring at a blank page. (ok, not anymore). A few words have appeared. It’s not the dearth of things to write about, it’s the overabundance.

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Segarini: My Dad – Father’s Day June 17th 2018

Posted in Opinion, Review with tags , , , , , , , on June 15, 2018 by segarini

Seg My Dad and I

This is the 9th annual printing of a column I wrote in tribute to my fatherfor  Father’s Day. It is my pleasure to share my Dad with you.

 I miss my parents a lot, and I never got to thank my dad for all he tried to teach me, all he tried to instill in me. If your parents are still alive, your grandparents, even your aunts and uncles. call them up today, tell them you love them, and cherish the ability you have to tell them first hand. Someday, they will all be gone, and even though you will hear their voices and feel their presence for the rest of your life, there will be times when you experience a longing, and an ache so profound, that you will wish with all your heart you could see them again and let them know how much they meant to you. Family is more important than any other aspect of your life…don’t ever forget it.

Happy Fathers Day, Pop…I miss you…and I love you.

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