Archive for Darrell Vickers

The Vickers of Darrell Take a Jaunty Journey

Posted in Family, life, Opinion with tags , , , , , , , , , on November 26, 2019 by segarini

Let’s face it; we live in hyper-reactive times. The teensiest trespass against us sets off radical, volcanic transmogrifications that make The Incredible Hulk look like a big green pussy. Spit-flecked invective and throbbing temple veins are instantly marshaled to man the pike-staffed ramparts of our fury, should our McNuggets fail to be brought forth in a timely manner. Mistrust and intolerance swirl around us like Carol Doda’s nipple tassels in a seedy Frisco supper club. Compromise and empathy have become about as appetizing as Planter’s Wart or Rob Schneider.

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Darrell Vickers – Chapter Twenty – Don’t Forget to Shake That Before You Pour It and The Epilogue

Posted in Fiction, Serialized Book with tags , , , , , , on October 15, 2019 by segarini

The torpid morning sun had finally come cresting over the garbage-filled Atlantic and the “day of destiny” was upon us.  Carla brought me breakfast in bed.  The girls all rushed out of the room while I was attempting to cut through my egg.  At least the coffee was somewhat drinkable.  I thought they’d run off to lick each other senseless in another room, but I was wrong.  And pleasantly so.  Man, how often does that happen?  Everyone had gotten up early and decorated the foyer within an inch of its life.  As I descended the grand staircase like the price of Facebook stock, they were all standing in line, staring up at me.  I was kind of touched, in a lord-of-the-manor sort of way.  Even my therapist was in attendance.  Behind the adoring and adorable throng, there was a big sign that read, “Happy Bonus Day!!!”

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Darrell Vickers – Chapter Nineteen Right Knee…Left Knee…or Wienie?

Posted in Fiction, Serialized Book with tags , , , , , , on October 8, 2019 by segarini

Now that things were going so well with Ms. Princeton, I felt a little awkward about bending my indoor gardener over the furniture.  Especially, since I no longer had any indoor plants.  I mean, suppose Alchemy and I fell in love in Fiji.  It could happen.  One night after champagne-soaked beach sex, betrothals occurred.  Then what?  If we ended up getting married, indoor gardeners would have to be a thing of the past.  Marriage is like that.

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Darrell Vickers – FtN Chapter Eighteen – As Sure As Today Follows Tomorrow

Posted in Fiction, Serialized Book with tags , , , , , , on October 1, 2019 by segarini

For everyone else in the office, their lives continued to skip through fields of magical daisies.  But not mine.  It is only through a cataclysmic event that you get to experience how truly alone we all are in the universe.  And I don’t mean alone as a person.  It could be a group or a town or perhaps even a country.

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Darrell Vickers – FTN Chapter Seventeen Glerm!

Posted in Fiction, Serialized Book with tags , , , , , , on September 24, 2019 by segarini

Much to the disappointment of my ladies, it was just about quittin’ time in the city.  I had lots to think about.  Well, I had Alchemy to think about but I was going to think about her a lot.  And…I had to do it without my nightly booze-bath.  That was not going to be easy or fun.  But nothing good in this life is ever easy or fun.  I guess most bad things in this life aren’t easy or fun either.  Anyway, back to my point.  Alchemy was worth it.  My Courvoisier swigging lips were sealed.

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Darrell Vickers – Chapter Sixteen If You Don’t Like This Nose, You Can Stick It Up Your Ass

Posted in Fiction, Serialized Book with tags , , , , , , on September 17, 2019 by segarini

Meanwhile Izzy and Rebecca were in Bergdorf Goodman, spending it to the ground.  The entire morning had been a ferocious but fashionable maelstrom of wanton consumerism and torrid homoerotic girlie-groping in and around NY’s toniest boutiques.  Snotty sales clerks gaped and gasped in commission-reckoning amazement as these two sizzling sartorial style-junkies swiped my credit card to the point of it setting it ablaze.  Dior!  Stella McCartney!  Galliano!  Zac Posen!  They grabbed as much cloth-with-a-foreign-name-stitched-on-it as their arms could hold and carted it away to small rooms with poorly measured curtains.  And no accent or accessory was spared.  Izzy was rounding up a large herd of Balenciaga clutch purses when something caught her eye.  She turned to Rebecca and whispered, “Am I crazy, or is that Angela Cartwright and some street bum over there buying up the other half of the store?”

“Who?” asked Rebecca.  Prostitutes don’t get a lot of time to watch late night reruns.

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Darrell Vickers – Chapter Fifteen: We’re Here. We’re Here. You Lucky, Lucky People

Posted in Fiction, Serialized Book with tags , , , , , , on September 10, 2019 by segarini

Farting Nylon cover final

I’d been doing a little shopping myself.  After lunch, Alchemy walked into her office to find a ‘50s-style leather jacket and motorcycle cap hanging on an antique coat rack.  Next to her phone, I placed the evilest pair of sunglasses I could find.  And in her chair, I put a big poster of Marlon Brando from The Wild One.  Except, I cut out a picture of Alchemy’s face and pasted it over Marlon’s.

When I have a woman in my sights, there are no half steps. Continue reading