Bob Recalls the Tale of Chops Dorfman and the Edison Twins, the insanely talented David Celia, and the Heavenly Voice of Rumer from England

Portions of this column were originally written in 2011 and ran in another online music mag that still owes me 400 dollars and an apology.

It was a different time. People’s faces were on display for all to see. You had to go buy your own damn groceries. If you wanted a hamburger or a horrifically over-priced piece of chicken, you would have to leave your home, and using whatever you could as a conveyance, travel to a magical palace of burgers both cheesed and uncheesed, shakes of milk, and delicious, never crispy enough, fragments of the potato plant, or venture forth to the home of Bucket or Box, Southern or Cajun, for succulent flightless bird, mainly for the deep fried breaded skin of the now cluckless fowl. There were no Cardi B’s, no Pitbulls, no Eilishes or Megan Thee Stallions, and Weekend still had all its “e’s” And most importantly, an obese, malignant, amateur golfer, inhuman and demonic to a fault, had yet to rise in the East, turn a Grand Old Party into a festering pus-filled open sore of delusional pipsqueaks, and scare the prunes out of anyone with a moral core, empathy, humanity, and scruples.

It was August. …and I was busy remembering stuff ….

Segarini – Q: “Hot Enough for You?” A: “Go Fuck Yourself”

I hate hot weather.

I don’t hate many things, but I HATE hot weather.

I dislike things that are not to my taste, I rarely feel the desire to hate anything because it is negative energy, and negative energy is toxic. Life is too short to waste the energy, or allow negative thoughts to waste your valuable time, but with the exception of one human being I would love to see get run over repeatedly, shot, drowned, set on fire and eaten by wolves or household pets, I LOATHE hot weather…and be aware that murder statistics go up when it is 90 degrees or hotter.

It’s going to be triple digits this weekend.

…and make that TWO people I would love to see karma-lized and turned into an order of McNuggets….THEN get run over repeatedly, shot, drowned, set on fire and eaten by wolves or household pets

Pat Blythe – Indie Week – Act I

Crikey!!!! Where the hell did the day go?!? It was a crazy week last week….Indie Week style.  Launch on Tuesday, judging (and shooting) on Wednesday, hitting the clubs on Friday, Saturday and Sunday…..oh my aching trigger finger…… I saw so many bands around the city I’ve lost count. There were others I missed simply because I couldn’t be in two (or three) places at once….not even Zippy can do that. I take no prisoners driving from one end of the city to the other. There is no time to waste and parking to be found. But what a great week…..so much incredible talent out there, local and international, and these music makers love what they do….so I hope they all keep on “doing it”. I ran into so many people I know, reconnected and also made some new friends. I just LOVE this!

Segarini: Canadian, Eh? Happy 150th Canada Day!

Have a safe and happy Canada Day…I love you all. And yes…this IS the Greatest Country in the World…even if some of us don’t know it.

Portions of this column originally appeared in FYIMusic, Cashbox Canada, and DBAWIS.

The Stories Behind the Songs – Part Two

It’s snowing!!!! Not those big, fat, fluffy flakes where one can almost cover your face. But it’s snowing…. Sigh. The grey, dull days of January with just a mere hint that the sun actually exists…..which begs the question, why doesn’t Bell Canada hold their “Let’s Talk” campaign on Blue Monday? That makes infinitely more sense than say, Robbie Burns Day. Why in heaven’s name would you pick the 25th of January for mental health awareness??? According to a number of sources, the term “Blue Monday” was coined by holiday company Sky Travel in a 2005 press release. Cliff Arnall, at the time a tutor at Cardiff University, had come up with a light-hearted formula to determine the most depressing day of the year which commonly falls on the third Monday in January. It’s now a worldwide phenomena. Everyone has jumped on the bandwagon and the term is used repeatedly by companies and organizations (there’s even a BlueMonday.org) and stories in all sorts of media abound. Newspapers recommend taking the day off, there are various sites that will calculate, on a yearly basis, which Monday is going to be “blue” so you can prepare…..the power of suggestion. Although the entire idea is considered pseudoscience by the scientific community, Blue Monday is not going away anytime soon. Did you know mosquitoes are attracted to the colour blue twice as much as any other colour?

Pat Blythe – Life and loss…..

I’m trying to figure out where old sod goes to die. Messing around in my backyard over the weekend and I have several rolls of unusable sod that weigh a ton. Leftovers from last year. Small house, small yard still equals “big” work. Gorgeous weather though….dinner on the patio of my local Italian restaurant, Casa di Giorgio, Saturday night. Some of my favourite people work there… Cathy, Christina, Pam and Ted (the owner). Great food and great people!

Segarini – The Sebastian, Celia, Edison Twins and Rumer, Rerun!

So damn cold and the weather has turned into a nightmare, and the news has been as grey and as dark as the sky, we have lost so many icons and creative individuals, and the new year isn’t even a month old yet.

This column was originally written in 2011 and ran in another online music mag. It was an impossibly hot, arid, stifling summer…so I thought being reminded of the heat would make you feel better about the cold.

Part Two of 2015 – The Age of Idiocracy will be here on Monday….

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Pat Blythe: 2015 – A Year in Summation

 

Personally it’s been, indubitably, a year of massive, incredible change….a complete turnaround….a 360….that’s two 180’s, and I’m still spinning. It’s been jam packed full of opportunities, challenges, reconnections, new connections, bags of music, loads of dancing, early mornings, late nights, no sleep, G&T’s, club hopping, previews and reviews, outdoor patios, fast food, fine dining, ear-splitting bands, (did I mention dancing), photo shoots, video shoots and writing. Okay, deep breath, plunging in, here we go….the year in review. Really!! ….and WELCOME BACK!

Pat Blythe: On The Road Again – The London/Toronto Scrapbook

It’s Scrapbook time!! So far, May and June have been busy months for a little bar-hopping between cities….checking out new places, acquainting myself with the local talent, hitting the dance floor and meeting up with friends. So, keeping everything in chronological order I’ll begin with my hometown of London, Ontario, famously known as The Forest City. (need you ask why?)

Roxanne Tellier: Fighting For The Right To Protest

One week ends and another begins. It’s been a tough couple of weeks for many, even more so than other weeks. After a bitterly cold and seemingly unending winter, Toronto’s spring has yet to settle in, as it jumps from sweltering daytime highs to overnight lows that wreak havoc on wardrobe choices and spark terror in the hearts of gardeners.