It’s a long weekend, and here in my little corner of the city, it’s sunny and warm, with just a gentle breeze ruffling the ferns. My ‘regular customers’ – the little birds, Blue Jays, and squirrels – have already been by for their morning treats and have now gone off to hide from the local felines.
Hi.
I’m Bob.
…and being Bob and of a certain age, I must be honest and let you know that because of the heat I am unable to type very much due to a little known condition called “Beckett’s Wobble Fingers”, brought on by the bones in my fingers turning to a rubber-like substance due to eating too much Play Doh as a child. The heat triggers it and I am unable to push down on the keys of my keyboard because my digits are too soft to push hard enough to make them click and form words with letters. This intro is being typed by my housekeeper and care-giver, Dorito Espenoza, a woman who has served my family since the unfortunate events of June 14th, 1946.
Without further ado, Here’s E. Ray…and Senor Bob, you owe me extra for typing this. Stiff me this time, and I will pour red ants in your underwear drawer again….
There’s a conspiracy theory that’s been around for a few years now, in which people believe that CERN (the European Organization for Nuclear Research) experiments have caused the world to shift into an alternate reality, a parallel universe. They claim that the organization was warned of the possibility by physicist Stephen Hawking, but that the alarm was ignored .. and now, here we are, somewhere other than where we should be..
Ain’t I a wonder, and ain’t you a wonder too!
Or so we’ve been led to believe, by all of our ‘likes’ and ‘loves’ on social media, which is where we go to show off our funny, pretty, and intelligent sides. It’s where we go to get our ‘strokes’ of approval, to find out who’s doing what, and it’s where some of us go to air our opinions and beliefs, and to challenge the opinions and beliefs of others.
After a week of schizophrenic weather (it’s hot! it’s cold! it’s raining! it’s snowing!) and even more schizophrenic babblings from the Whiner in Chief to the South of Sanity, it was an enormous relief to make the long drive out past the airport to the cozy home of friends Candice and Eli, for the New Orleans themed Fam-Damily Music Jam Fest. Within minutes of arrival I was draped in Carnival beads and being pulled on stage for some musical improv.
Bullseye Records of Canada
