Archive for Funny

Bob VS The Virus The Cabin Fever The Fools and The Pants

Posted in COVID 19, life, music, Opinion, politics with tags , , , , , , , , , , on April 24, 2020 by segarini

Day 12,985 of Self Isolation

Dear Diary …today, 2 of my favourite cockroaches and one of my imaginary friends, Delbert, Roland, and Pablo and I were discussing which pasta sauce stain on my robe resembled veteran Big Band leader, Harry James, when I thought I heard a knock on the door. Delbert and Roland scurried back under the stove leaving Pablo and I to try and figure out who it could be.

“Did you order any food?”, I asked Pablo, who was stroking his goatee like he was considering moving his rook to take either one of my checkers or the Top Hat from the Monopocheckerchess game we had invented back on day 11, 334 of this forced march, and waited for his reply. The knock was repeated.

Without looking up, Pablo said, “Get the door”, and waved his left hand toward the hallway where the door resided. When I told him “no”, he shrugged and moved his knight on my little race car. I hadn’t seen THAT coming. That Pablo is a sly one. “Why won’t you answer the door?”, he asked. I told him. I never answer the door because no one is ever there when I do. I’m not even sure we have a door anymore.

Continue reading

Segarini – Laugh With Me or At Me, I Don’t Care Which …Just Laugh

Posted in Fiction, life, Opinion with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on April 17, 2020 by segarini

I busted my ass on this column. Not complaining just …well …yeah, I’m not complaining …just trying to help ya’all get through this whole stupid mess. It ain’t much, but my skill set is limited, so take it or leave it. I love you all. Not like my Family or GF or Pink’s Hot Dogs, or a Harbour Sixty Bone-In Rib Steak, or Decent Bourbon, or my 3D TV, or a bunch of other shit, but it is genuine love. Thanks for being there. Seriously. I mean it. Don’t think for a moment that I don’t. Jesus! Quit doubting me! Fuck, Man I d …I gotta pee. Read this. Later. Whenever. Now. Sunday. I don’t care. gotta pee.

The first 600 words of this column first appeared on April 22nd, 2016

They bear repeating ….

Continue reading