Archive for Lies

Segarini – Stopping the Stupid – Another Monday Filler

Posted in Opinion, Review with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on October 8, 2018 by segarini

Here’s the problem….

It’s a holiday in Canada. Thanksgiving, to be exact. We celebrate it a month before Our Pants (that’s YOU, Mr. and Mrs. America) because we like to get it out of the way before the snow comes and turns our roads into slip n’ slides, our wives and girlfriends into our mothers, and ourselves (the men) into starry eyed dreamers who think the Leafs have a chance, the Blue Jays need us to manage them, and whoever our Prime Minister is, is a Poop of the Nincom variety.

My guess (always educated, never mitigated) is that the vast majority of our Canadian brethern and sistern are either just recovering from a turkey-induced tryptophan coma, or about to sit down to a bird-laden card table and ENTER a turkey-induced tryptophan coma. Either way, the result will render today’s column an afterthought and almost impossible to read passed out in front of the flatscreen with your belt undone, pants unzipped, and drool piling up on your shirt like the glaze on a Krispy Kreme donut. Sooo…my promised column has been booted to this coming Friday (where it belongs), Gary Pig Gold’s is postponed until NEXT Monday, and tomorrow, as a reward, the first chapter of Darrell Vicker’s new book begins the serialization of said book, ‘Bu House -Here Comes the Sun. Those gems require your attention, and today, you really don’t have any, so I offer this relevant rerun for those of you who can read while the game is on, the gravy dries on your shirt, or can read even though you are asleep or drunk or adrunksleep.

…and if you don’t believe that tryptophan is the reason you’re dazed and confused, blame it on the Bossa Nova.

 

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Bob Presents E. Ray Pancake’s Fake News, Bullshit, and Out and Out Lies

Posted in Opinion with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 6, 2018 by segarini

Hi.

I’m Bob.

…and being Bob and of a certain age, I must be honest and let you know that because of the heat I am unable to type very much due to a little known condition called “Beckett’s Wobble Fingers”, brought on by the bones in my fingers turning to a rubber-like substance due to eating too much Play Doh as a child. The heat triggers it and I am unable to push down on the keys of my keyboard because my digits are too soft to push hard enough to make them click and form words with letters. This intro is being typed by my housekeeper and care-giver, Dorito Espenoza, a woman who has served my family since the unfortunate events of June 14th, 1946.

Without further ado, Here’s E. Ray…and Senor Bob, you owe me extra for typing this. Stiff me this time, and I will pour red ants in your underwear drawer again….

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Segarini – Stopping the Stupid

Posted in Opinion with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on August 24, 2015 by segarini

Bob and Vanilla Cone

“Seriously…forgive me…but you know that meme that says, “Stop Making Stupid People Famous”? Well, a GREAT many of us are the Stupid People who are responsible for all the famous Stupid People. Sorry….”

=0=

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