Archive for Pictures

Bob VS The Virus The Cabin Fever The Fools and The Pants

Posted in COVID 19, life, music, Opinion, politics with tags , , , , , , , , , , on April 24, 2020 by segarini

Day 12,985 of Self Isolation

Dear Diary …today, 2 of my favourite cockroaches and one of my imaginary friends, Delbert, Roland, and Pablo and I were discussing which pasta sauce stain on my robe resembled veteran Big Band leader, Harry James, when I thought I heard a knock on the door. Delbert and Roland scurried back under the stove leaving Pablo and I to try and figure out who it could be.

“Did you order any food?”, I asked Pablo, who was stroking his goatee like he was considering moving his rook to take either one of my checkers or the Top Hat from the Monopocheckerchess game we had invented back on day 11, 334 of this forced march, and waited for his reply. The knock was repeated.

Without looking up, Pablo said, “Get the door”, and waved his left hand toward the hallway where the door resided. When I told him “no”, he shrugged and moved his knight on my little race car. I hadn’t seen THAT coming. That Pablo is a sly one. “Why won’t you answer the door?”, he asked. I told him. I never answer the door because no one is ever there when I do. I’m not even sure we have a door anymore.

Continue reading

Segarini – Laugh With Me or At Me, I Don’t Care Which …Just Laugh

Posted in Fiction, life, Opinion with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on April 17, 2020 by segarini

I busted my ass on this column. Not complaining just …well …yeah, I’m not complaining …just trying to help ya’all get through this whole stupid mess. It ain’t much, but my skill set is limited, so take it or leave it. I love you all. Not like my Family or GF or Pink’s Hot Dogs, or a Harbour Sixty Bone-In Rib Steak, or Decent Bourbon, or my 3D TV, or a bunch of other shit, but it is genuine love. Thanks for being there. Seriously. I mean it. Don’t think for a moment that I don’t. Jesus! Quit doubting me! Fuck, Man I d …I gotta pee. Read this. Later. Whenever. Now. Sunday. I don’t care. gotta pee.

The first 600 words of this column first appeared on April 22nd, 2016

They bear repeating ….

Continue reading

A Segarini Rerun – Bob’s Scrapbook of Awesomeness and Oddities For Modern Boys and Girls

Posted in Opinion, Review with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 3, 2018 by segarini

It’s Labour Day! And what better way to celebrate Labour Day than by spending it labouring! While the rest of you lie on the beach, or eat the latest CNE bacon wrapped-deepfried-chocolate covered-peanut butter-dill pickled Midway treat, or sit in traffic on your way back home from wherever you are, I will be moving the last of the boxes and bags from one room to another in order to accommodate a new roommate whose last-minute addition to my life will enable me to keep a roof over my head, food on the table, and who can dial 911 if I accidently lock myself in the bathroom again. Think of me while your ice cream cone melts all over your hand or someone side swipes your car while you wait in line for a burger at Weber’s.

See you tomorrow, when the temperature drops from 100 degrees to ‘Where the fuck are my Ice scraper, toque, and gloves’?                                 Bob – September 3rd, 2018

Continue reading

A Segarini Scrapbook of Awesomeness and Oddities For Modern Boys and Girls

Posted in Opinion with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 18, 2015 by segarini

Bob Calls it In

My CMW wrap up will be posted on Friday. In the meantime, I want to share with you the joys of my life, some interesting music, some snapshots from the far distant past, and a few bon mots culled from endless research and the Facebook Newsfeed. Yes…the Facebook Newsfeed…where rumour, satire, and stupidity are taken as news, fact, and truth. Let the LOLing begin….

=0=

Continue reading

Segarini: A Sunday Scrapbook

Posted in Opinion with tags , , , , , , , on September 9, 2012 by segarini

Big pictures and little words. The perfect combination for a quick read, some eye candy, and a few minutes respite from whatever you are engaged in. Sunday’s should be for relaxing, churchifying, cleaning the tile grout in the shower, or snuggling on the couch with a loved one, a kitty, or a half gallon of French Vanilla ice cream, a bottle of Frangelica, and an oz. of good hydro. For the sports inclined, you can park yer ass in front of the flatscreen with a bowl of chips or chili and a case of beer.

Now you can also stroll over to the ‘puter (or put your laptop on your lap), and enjoy some wild and wacky photos and words. Well, not really wild and wacky, more like fun and nutty, or edgy and goofy, or maybe shiftless and lazy or sanguine and zany. Define it any way you choose, but know this: You may experience a slight tingling in your fingers and a bit of dampness in your hoo-hoo. After all, these are the things that dreams are made of….

Continue reading