Roxanne Tellier – 30 Days in the Hole

A little over a week ago, I was browsing through some posts on a Facebook group page. Some of the comments were interesting, but there was one peculiar troll who was obviously looking for a fight, strewing crazy conspiracy theories along the thread like poisoned bread crumbs.

He was adamant that the planet is just 5000 years old, that masks are murder, and that there is no virus. I should have simply let him rave, but I took the bait, and foolishly put afew site links in the post. The barrage of insults began. “You need to get your old crust ass moving alone down your pathetic life and go suck your buttons dick maybe he will give you a cabinet job.” “You’re a diaper wearing stupid idiot.” And then … “You seem to be the one reporting me like the crybaby you are.”

Bob – My Secret Lives

We’ve been meeting here in the pages of Don’t Believe a Word I Say for going on 10 years, and I just want to thank you all for dropping by when you have a few minutes to kill and spend them reading our stories and looking at our pictures. There are so many other things you could do with the time, like call a loved one, find out where your cat hid your keys, or look in the trunk of your car to see if you missed any spots when you removed the plastic sheets, rope, duct tape, axe, scalpel, and chloroform, and  wiped it down with bleach.

Darrell Vickers – The Magic Hour 5

Steve White. That’s all we really needed, just Steve White. He’d been air-lifted onto The Magic Hour pilot at the last tumultuous second as our co-host and he knocked it out of the park for us. Steve and Magic had a cool, breezy rapport with one another. Just a couple of guys rappin’ about the events of the day that segued seamlessly into our opening comedy bit. You can search for years and not find that kind of chemistry. Steve was also a dedicated team player and a truly funny guy. So of course, our first assignment on the show was to work with new possible co-hosts to replace him. Huh?

Roxanne Tellier – The Hardest Job

Happy Mother’s Day to all those who play that role in their family, no matter their gender.

“Being a mother actually has very little to do with birthing a child from your body. That might be the most obvious scenario, but motherhood is so much more than a physical happening. I have known some expert ‘mothers’ who never birthed or raised any children of their own, and I have known some mothers with a brood of children who shouldn’t be allowed to come anywhere near them. I don’t think motherhood can be simply defined by having or not having little people under your care.

Get Buttered Up with Chef Tom

Compound butter is a wonderful, enrichening method used by the best chefs, and a simple way to quickly add flavor and elegance to any dish. Mixing herbs or spices with butter, letting it solidify in the fridge in a log shape, then slicing off a disc and letting it melt over a steak or piece of chicken or fish, or a ragout of veggies before serving…all those wonderful flavors come together over whatever you’re serving.

Bob’s Annual Mother’s Day Memoir

It’s that time of year again.

This Sunday, we celebrate the first and longest lasting love of our lives. The woman who gave you life, protected you, encouraged you, unconditionally loved you, and even wiped your butt.

From the day you were born and 9 months previous to even that, she is the one force who gives and forgives, teaches and comforts, confronts and cares and metes out justice with a wooden spoon or a denial of dessert. …and regardless of your relationship with her, in the end, she is alive within you always, because she is your Mother.

Roxanne Tellier – Aging and Changing

Teenaged me wasn’t very smart.  “Hope I die before I get old.” ‘Never trust anyone over 30.” I’d not yet heard of the 27 Club, but if I had, I might have aspired to joining it, thus avoiding becoming untrustworthy.  

Chef Tom is Feelin’ Mighty Soulful

Segarini Presents – Celebrity Believe It or Don’t!

I have said it before, and I will say it again. The Mainstream Audience LOVES their public figures to be weird, quirky, odd, strange, possessed, mentally unstable, drug addled, alcoholic, Re-Hab invulnerable, mouthy, shallow, deep, oblivious, and/or strangely coiffed or have an artistic deformity. Why? Because everybody knows if you have green hair, dress like a Circus act, own a dolphin, go shopping driving a zamboni, or have a prehensile tail, you are a better singer, actor, or politician than all the others. If you can grow a third arm in the middle of your forehead …you will be destined to be the greatest whatever-you-are until the end of time.

Or until someone comes along whose genitals can recite the Declaration of Independence.

The Magic Hour Part Two – Part Two: A Change is Gonna Come

Those nascent days on The Magic Hour were like being airlifted into a room awash in eggshells while wearing size 26 snow boots. Every attempted micro-step caused annoyed and bitter heads to swing in our unintentionally crunchy direction. Needless to say, our relationship with the head writer, Pete, was tense at best. We were about as popular as having Matt Gaetz attend your high school prom.

The panicky act of Fox dragooning us onto the show had basically taken a Weed Whacker to his nether parts. Severely truncheoned his pink and tenders. Wantonly augered his… well, you get the idea.