Archive for Toronto

Darrell Vickers – Shut Up Kids

Posted in Opinion, Review, Television with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 22, 2020 by segarini

For the Want of a Horse

Andrew Nicholls and I were finishing up our last year of The Tonight Show and we were busier than Robert Downey Jr.’s lawyer in the ‘90s. Any reasonably priced writing assignment that didn’t involve a rapping kangaroo was graciously accepted.

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Darrell Vickers – The Paul Sands of Iwo Jima

Posted in Opinion, Review, Television with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 15, 2020 by segarini

When the treacherous and unpredictable seas of art and commerce enervate even the most dauntless of our kind, itinerant scribes oft times find themselves in want of a home. A sufficiently peaceful harbor in which to moor their buffeted and battered vessels. ‘Tis then we weary wordsmiths seek out a major studio in hopes of procuring an overall deal.

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Segarini – Forward to the Past

Posted in COVID 19, Opinion with tags , , , on September 11, 2020 by segarini

Editor’s Note  – There is a lot more to this column and it will be included in next week’s, but for the time being, this one has to be short and sweet…just like me. The gang’s all back starting tomorrow ….

Well, Howdy, Junior Rangers! Welcome back.

Nice to see ya’ll!

There’s Jimmy in his Sunday-Go-to-Meetin’ 3 piece corduroy suit with matching vest, Paco in his chinos and desert boots, little Shaniqua in her puppy-print hip-hugger hot pants and matching knapsack, and the Loober twins, Debbie and Bettie in their adorable Wassup Kitty pinafores. Aaaand …the rest of you in either drab camo ensembles with many pockets or skin tight jeans that only reach your ankles, sockless loafers and T-shirts with obscure Indie Bands logos on them.

Take off your masks …we’re in cyber-space here on the Internet …ya don’t need ’em.

I’m here to tell you about Life After Covid.

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Darrell Vickers – Your Package Has Arrived

Posted in life, Opinion, Television with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 28, 2020 by segarini

When The Tonight Show was cantering through its year-long goodbye victory lap, Andrew Nicholls and I were far from coasting to the finish line, sipping jumbo daiquiris and hoovering astonishing powders out of topless starlets’ Miu Miu pumps. While Johnny was retiring to enjoy his riches, Malibu estate, yacht and the loving arms and legs of his young 4th wife, Andrew and I had accumulated families that required regular feedings.

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Darrell Vickers – It’s Only Words: How Hollywood Made Me Thicke to My Thtomache

Posted in life, Opinion, Review, Television with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 21, 2020 by segarini

I became a professional scribe at the tender, pre-Tinder, age of 18. Since the halcyon days of my humble, date-free youth, words have fed my family and made it possible for me to accumulate a record collection that would sink most medium-size boats. While I have enjoyed an unreasonable amount of success through the decades, armed with only pen in hand and the dictionary in my head, in show business there is forever a micro-thin line between gainful employment and having to mug a giant-arrow-spinning condo clown for his Subway coupons. This is the harrowing, tongue-swallowing tale of how a couple of simple words almost cost me my entire Hollywood career, just as it was breaching the birth canal.

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Bob’s News for Idiots

Posted in Fiction, life, Opinion with tags , , , , on July 17, 2020 by segarini

Day 16,285 of Writer’s block and counting the little tiny tiles on the bathroom floor ….

My Facebook news feed has convinced me …there are people dimmer than a one watt bulb out there, posting nonsense on Facebook, the likes of which have not been seen since Ralph Nader’s followers destroyed the Chevrolet Corvair with lies, stupidity, and false facts. Not since a vast number of people declared Classic Rock as the end all and be all of Musical Accomplishment. …and not since P Puff Diddy Daddy and Kanye West have become wealthy because of …well …damned if I know. So I have decided to share some ‘News’ and “Important Information” here for those of you who embrace the continued ‘belief’ that Hillary is Evil, Trump is Human, and Mitch McConnell is more than a varicose-veined, liver-spotted sack of rotting meat ….

Then again, I may just be in a REALLY REALLY REALLY Bad Mood.

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GRAN’S CANADA HIGHWAY – EPISODE 3: LOADED TO BEAR by Jaimie Vernon

Posted in Family, life, Opinion, Review with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 13, 2020 by segarini


In 1965, Canada was well on its way to making inter-continental travel from sea-to-sea-to-sea a lot more enticing and convenient. The Trans-Canada Highway had linked the otherwise awkward and barely passable sections of Lake Superior in Ontario and the Rocky Mountains between Alberta and British Columbia. And so, my grandparents decided to take a little trek out of province to see that the world didn’t end in Port Arthur, Ontario (merely life as we know it).

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Peter Stays Cool with Lucy the Fan

Posted in COVID 19, life, Opinion, Review with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 9, 2020 by segarini

This week’s column will be yet another potpourri. I have looked at several different topics to write about, but rapidly changing events and the dreadful heat which has gripped Toronto “by the throat” has made me decide to address a number of issues today.

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It’s Birthday Week for Hat and Pants! – The Canarican

Posted in Family, life, Opinion, Review with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on July 1, 2020 by segarini

bob-bored-backstage

I am a Proud Canarican …or at least I will be again once President Flubber and His Band of Lost Socks are incarcerated or incinerated (choose one), and Adults are back running our Pants.

To celebrate, I offer up this heavily researched, thoroughly accurate FAQ sheet listing the differences between Our Great Land, and Our Once Great Pants.

Most of the following was originally posted in 2015, when the world was a different place. There was cleaner air, prettier sunsets, better television reception, and more than enough Gummy Bears. All of that changed after the advent of the Man Bun and Robot Bingo Callers. No…wait…that was a dream I had after a night of fish tacos and Metaxa.

Never mind….

Unlike the Man Without a Country, I am a man with TWO countries. The Country of my birth, the United States of America, and the Country I choose to live in and love with all my heart, Canada.

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Segarini’s Short but Sweet Scrapbook for Shut-Ins

Posted in COVID 19, life, Opinion, Review with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on May 29, 2020 by segarini

DAY 16, 281

The wolves are howling as they draw near. Betty and the baby are swaddled by the fire, the last of the cook books and furniture keeping them warm for the nonce. I ponder our future as the last of the Redenbachers pop in the microwave. Bingeing the final season of Match Game with Gene Rayburn and contemplating calling Innabuggy ….

After a 3 month-long self-imposed exile in Ottawa, my esteemed roommate is heading back here tomorrow to change his socks and justify paying half the rent. …and as happy as I will be to have someone to talk to besides my reflection in the ever-increasing collection of empty bourbon, wine, and vodka bottles, his return poses a problem. In his absence, I’m afraid I became derelict in the responsibility to keep the compound habitable for human beings. Before he arrives, I must turn this Frat House Dorm back into livable space, instead of the aftermath of a 3 month Toga Party. Still trying to figure out how I got spaghetti sauce and hot dog remnants on the ceiling of the bathroom and under the bed ….

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