Archive for Toronto

It’s Birthday Week for Hat and Pants! – The Canarican

Posted in Family, life, Opinion, Review with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on July 1, 2020 by segarini

bob-bored-backstage

I am a Proud Canarican …or at least I will be again once President Flubber and His Band of Lost Socks are incarcerated or incinerated (choose one), and Adults are back running our Pants.

To celebrate, I offer up this heavily researched, thoroughly accurate FAQ sheet listing the differences between Our Great Land, and Our Once Great Pants.

Most of the following was originally posted in 2015, when the world was a different place. There was cleaner air, prettier sunsets, better television reception, and more than enough Gummy Bears. All of that changed after the advent of the Man Bun and Robot Bingo Callers. No…wait…that was a dream I had after a night of fish tacos and Metaxa.

Never mind….

Unlike the Man Without a Country, I am a man with TWO countries. The Country of my birth, the United States of America, and the Country I choose to live in and love with all my heart, Canada.

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Segarini’s Short but Sweet Scrapbook for Shut-Ins

Posted in COVID 19, life, Opinion, Review with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on May 29, 2020 by segarini

DAY 16, 281

The wolves are howling as they draw near. Betty and the baby are swaddled by the fire, the last of the cook books and furniture keeping them warm for the nonce. I ponder our future as the last of the Redenbachers pop in the microwave. Bingeing the final season of Match Game with Gene Rayburn and contemplating calling Innabuggy ….

After a 3 month-long self-imposed exile in Ottawa, my esteemed roommate is heading back here tomorrow to change his socks and justify paying half the rent. …and as happy as I will be to have someone to talk to besides my reflection in the ever-increasing collection of empty bourbon, wine, and vodka bottles, his return poses a problem. In his absence, I’m afraid I became derelict in the responsibility to keep the compound habitable for human beings. Before he arrives, I must turn this Frat House Dorm back into livable space, instead of the aftermath of a 3 month Toga Party. Still trying to figure out how I got spaghetti sauce and hot dog remnants on the ceiling of the bathroom and under the bed ….

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SUNNY DAYS: THE SKIP PROKOP STORY (PART 7 by Jaimie Vernon

Posted in music, Opinion, Serialized Book with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 4, 2020 by segarini

Skip Prokop and his band The Paupers were on their way to the ‘big game’ when they had two back-to-back blows. Their appearance at the Monterey Pop Festival in the summer of 1967 was an unmitigated disaster and the band’s long-time Canadian manager, Bernie Finkelstein, left the group in the hands of U.S. Uber-manager Albert Grossman. Grossman wasn’t going to let these setbacks slow the band down. In fact, he had the guys become surrogate backing musicians for several artists in his illustrious music stable. This would prove to be the undoing of The Paupers as Skip found himself attracted to working with big name acts:

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Peter Takes the Byways and Back Roads

Posted in Family, life, Opinion, Review with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 30, 2020 by segarini

I experienced such a range of emotions writing last week’s column that I decided to take a look at another childhood play area of mine, one which the vast majority of you would probably not be familiar with. This will be a two part column because of the sheer magnitude of the subject, and this first part will deal with the physical characteristics of the area.

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Darrell Vickers – Mick Fire For Hire: Chapter Four

Posted in Fiction, Serialized Book with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 28, 2020 by segarini

Mick Fire is a flaming, insalubrious has-been rock photographer. When albums were king, he was the toast of the town. Then, he was just toast. With the coming of CD’s, his career sank quicker than a Pakistani ferryboat. His fairytale life consists of a long suffering daughter, a 23 year old girlfriend, an ex-wife, an agent who hates him, a room-temperature refrigerator and a dead ferret.  Then one day, as Mick is wallowing at the bottom of his self-made shit well, someone lowers him a bucket. A job! A job that could put him back on top. And that’s when his troubles begin.

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SUNNY DAYS: THE SKIP PROKOP STORY (PART 6) by Jaimie Vernon

Posted in Interview, music, Opinion, Serialized Book with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 27, 2020 by segarini

In our previous installment, Yorkville Village heroes The Paupers had effectively ambushed New York City and taken the American music business by storm following their gigs at the Café Au-Go-Go. It landed them both a U.S. record deal with MGM/Verve-Folkways and a deal with Uber-manager Albert Grossman (Bob Dylan, The Band, Odetta, Peter Paul & Mary, Paul Butterfield, Janis Joplin). The wheels were in motion for The Paupers to conquer America. The band did a promotional tour across the U.S. to radio stations in preparation for the release of their debut album ‘Magic People’ and live dates to follow. Skip Prokop continues the story…

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Bob VS The Virus The Cabin Fever The Fools and The Pants

Posted in COVID 19, life, music, Opinion, politics with tags , , , , , , , , , , on April 24, 2020 by segarini

Day 12,985 of Self Isolation

Dear Diary …today, 2 of my favourite cockroaches and one of my imaginary friends, Delbert, Roland, and Pablo and I were discussing which pasta sauce stain on my robe resembled veteran Big Band leader, Harry James, when I thought I heard a knock on the door. Delbert and Roland scurried back under the stove leaving Pablo and I to try and figure out who it could be.

“Did you order any food?”, I asked Pablo, who was stroking his goatee like he was considering moving his rook to take either one of my checkers or the Top Hat from the Monopocheckerchess game we had invented back on day 11, 334 of this forced march, and waited for his reply. The knock was repeated.

Without looking up, Pablo said, “Get the door”, and waved his left hand toward the hallway where the door resided. When I told him “no”, he shrugged and moved his knight on my little race car. I hadn’t seen THAT coming. That Pablo is a sly one. “Why won’t you answer the door?”, he asked. I told him. I never answer the door because no one is ever there when I do. I’m not even sure we have a door anymore.

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Darrell Vickers – Mick Fire For Hire: Chapter Three

Posted in Fiction, Serialized Book with tags , , , , , , , , on April 21, 2020 by segarini

Mick Fire is a flaming, insalubrious has-been rock photographer. When albums were king, he was the toast of the town. Then, he was just toast. With the coming of CD’s, his career sank quicker than a Pakistani ferryboat. His fairytale life consists of a long suffering daughter, a 23 year old girlfriend, an ex-wife, an agent who hates him, a room-temperature refrigerator and a dead ferret.  Then one day, as Mick is wallowing at the bottom of his self-made shit well, someone lowers him a bucket. A job! A job that could put him back on top. And that’s when his troubles begin.

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Segarini – Laugh With Me or At Me, I Don’t Care Which …Just Laugh

Posted in Fiction, life, Opinion with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on April 17, 2020 by segarini

I busted my ass on this column. Not complaining just …well …yeah, I’m not complaining …just trying to help ya’all get through this whole stupid mess. It ain’t much, but my skill set is limited, so take it or leave it. I love you all. Not like my Family or GF or Pink’s Hot Dogs, or a Harbour Sixty Bone-In Rib Steak, or Decent Bourbon, or my 3D TV, or a bunch of other shit, but it is genuine love. Thanks for being there. Seriously. I mean it. Don’t think for a moment that I don’t. Jesus! Quit doubting me! Fuck, Man I d …I gotta pee. Read this. Later. Whenever. Now. Sunday. I don’t care. gotta pee.

The first 600 words of this column first appeared on April 22nd, 2016

They bear repeating ….

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Darrell Vickers – Mick Fire For Hire: Chapter Two

Posted in Fiction, Serialized Book with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 14, 2020 by segarini

 

Mick Fire is a flaming, insalubrious has-been rock photographer. When albums were king, he was the toast of the town. Then, he was just toast. With the coming of CD’s, his career sank quicker than a Pakistani ferryboat. His fairytale life consists of a long suffering daughter, a 23 year old girlfriend, an ex-wife, an agent who hates him, a room-temperature refrigerator and a dead ferret.  Then one day, as Mick is wallowing at the bottom of his self-made shit well, someone lowers him a bucket. A job! A job that could put him back on top. And that’s when his troubles begin.

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