Archive for Wack in the Saddle Again

Bob Makes Excuses and Isn’t Very Nice at All if You Ask Me….

Posted in Opinion, Review with tags , , , , , , , , , on November 30, 2018 by segarini

A Message From Bob – This is an old column, updated to serve my current situation, but fortunately, soooo on point that the majority of it sounds like I ripped it from today’s headlines.

Here’s the thing…

In the past 10 days I have quit smoking, had my apartment divested of a ton of junk, gotten a roommate, been through Bullshit hell, took a bad fall in a Dollarama and spent 2 hours sitting in an ambulance convincing the adorable EMPs or Ts or whatever the Jr. Doctors who pilot them are called, not to take me to the hospital and leave me on a gurney in a hallway for 12 hours while the doctors and nurses play Marco Polo in the cafeteria wearing hospital gowns and swim fins. I bled out enough blood to dress the crime scenes in an entire season of CSI: North York, and having been successful at avoiding Our Lady of Perpetual Agony’s pale green hallways, am now the proud owner of a broken nose (3rd time), 3 bruised ribs some little broken bones in my left hand, a painfully scraped left knee, a broken pair of sunglasses, and little or no love for an elderly Eastern European couple who caused the prattfall by considering me a crook and are incapable of knowing the number for 911 and dialing it, no matter how much you scream at them to do so while spraying blood all over their discount christmas wrapping.

Fuck it. The 2nd Installment of the Story of the Wackers will be up on Monday or Friday, and until then, you are lucky to get this. Love you. Leave me alone.

Dear Readers. Please excuse Bob from today’s Column…the Dog Ate His Homework.

Signed, My Mom

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