Well then! Your fearless columnist stayed up on line all night all last week, scouring the virtual globe as it were, asking anyone and everyone he surfed across out there that timeless and timely musical question:


“Because I live in Syracuse, and it’s gonna fucking snow until July. I’d rather be surfing!”

(Carl Cafarelli of This Is Rock n Roll Radio)

“Because two of my favorite bands, The Dukes of Stratosphear and The Pretty Things, have absorbed Beach Boy influences into their music.”

(Tina Max, Noise Magazine)

“Because KISS didn’t use any sleigh bells on their new release.”

(Pat Meusel, Sony Music Nashville)

“Because I like them a whole lot better than eggnog!”

(International Pop Overthrower David Bash)

“Because they alone could sing Mele Kaliki Maka, is “Merry Christmas” is Island talk-a …and have it make perfect musical sense.”

Hang Ten,  (Domenic Priore, author of Look! Listen! Vibrate! SMILE!)

“Well, it’s their spiritual direction that I find amusing. I mean, that soulful voice of Ray Collins, that intense blowing from Bunk Gardner, those beautiful harmonies of Roy Estrada, and that furious rhythm from Jimmy Carl Black, yes they are …wait a minute. Did you say BEACH BOYS? Oh! I thought you said the Fugs. Sorry! Forget what I just said!”

(Billy James, your Ant Bee)

“Cuz they’re beechin !!!!!!!!!!”

(Phil Kaufman, “Road Mangler Deluxe”)

“How come I have to listen to the Beach Boys at Christmas?”

(The Artist Currently Known As DAZA)

“Because it’s a lot better than listening to Marilyn Manson.”

(Queens notable Walter Ocner)

“Ever see Santa Claus in a thong bathing suit? It’s a horrible sight!”

(Roy Harper, Outer Shell Magazine)

“Because the Kenny Rogers Christmas album makes me want to buy a machine gun, and that’s not as good a feeling as “Little Saint Nick” or “Do It Again.”

(David Ribyat of Tennessee Tuxedo)

“I can play along with them on my piano inside the giant sandbox.”

(Elizabeth Walsh, also of TN Tux)

“The reason I would rather listen to the Beach Boys this Christmas is because it beats hearing that crappy muzak they play in the malls.”

(Beverly Paterson of Twist And Shake Magazine)

“I’d rather listen to The Beach Boys this Christmas because it beats Surfin’ On Heroin.”

(Jaimie Vernon, Bullseye Records of Canada)

“Waves, waves, and …oh yeah:  Waves!”

(Mick Hargreaves, Long Island surfer boy)

“Because their unreleased 1970s Christmas album set a standard of excellence within the genre, alongside Christmas efforts by the Kingston Trio, Temptations and Phil Spector.”

(Mike McDowell, Blitz Magazine)

“I’ll be listening to the Beach Boys this Christmas because every year the sound of Phil Spector’s voice on A Christmas Gift For You messes me up so badly that I need a dose of close harmony to save the day.”

(John J. Pinto of The Pig Paper)

“I’d rather be listening to the Beach Boys this Christmas because, as was the case these last 55 years, there is no other feasible alternative to get closer to heaven.”

(Kerneels Breytenbach, General Manager, Human & Rousseau Publishers, Cape Town, South Africa)

“The only reason I would rather listen to the Beach Boys this Christmas would be if I lived in Kentucky.”

(the ever-cryptic Don Preston, original Mother of Invention)

“This last year, my Beach Boys Christmas cassette went missing. I didn’t think much of it, until my son began to cry, begging me to buy a new one. “It’s just not Christmas without the Little Saint Nick song!” he wailed. It was then that I began to appreciate the uniqueness of our California Christmas, and was reminded that it is our own traditions and memories we make – the “spirit” of the season – that matters most. Oh yeah, I did get another Beach Boys cassette. And Jeffrey Foskett’s Christmas At The Beach as well. Who needs snow?”

(Sherri Ann Skanes, educator, Ventura, California)

“Few would argue that along with Elvis’ Christmas Album and Phil Spector’s A Christmas Gift For You, The Beach Boys Christmas Album is certainly one of the quintessential holiday albums of the rock era. On that album you not only get five great original – and timeless – Brian Wilson melodies, but a rare glimpse at an era when the “down to Earth” Beach Boys Sound dominated the music charts.

I can still picture Brian, in his bright shiny ’64 Grand Prix, cruising down Hawthorne Boulevard and pulling into the Foster’s Freeze while he hums an idea for a new song. That song, “Little Saint Nick,” would fascinate us through the 1963 Christmas season, and continues to delight us all these years later.”

(Fred Vail, the Beach Boys’ first – and best – concert promoter)

“Because their music represents all the hopes and companionship of the Festive Season, and because Brian and the group’s vocals are some of the best ever recorded.”

(Andrew Gladwin, actuary and part-time Beach Boy website owner, Harare, Zimbabwe)

“Couldn’t have said it better myself! Merry Christmas, everybody!

(Santa Pig)


Gary appears here whenever he wants

DBAWIS_ButtonGary Pig Gold may have grown up in Port Credit, run away to Hamilton to join his first rock ‘n’ roll group, hung out with Joe Strummer on his first-ever night in the UK, returned to T.O. to publish Canada’s first-ever rock ‘n’ roll (fan)zine, run away again gary pig gpld facong leftto Surf City to (almost) tour Australia with Jan & Dean, come home again to tour O Canada with that country’s first-ever (authorized!) Beach Boys tribute band …but STILL, he had to travel all the way back to the USSR to secure his first-ever recording contract

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