Nothing says Christmas like a curmudgeon and nobody is more of one than Jaimie Vernon which makes me wish I knew some of the stories behind his long career in music and, also, in life. Regaling you with tales of chicken wire and whoopee cushions would make this a lot easier to write— nothing like fart jokes to liven up your reading— but it is Christmas season and I must put aside the slings and arrows, as humorous as they might be.
Something short and bittersweet for DBAWIS this time; words I quickly put to paper – originally for Outer Shell Magazine I believe it was – all those years ago regarding a man who, I’d bet, many of us still reflect upon very frequently indeed.
You may say I’m a writer. But I’m not the only one…
Three weeks from today is Christmas Day. We’ll have gotten past all the rushing about, the frantic shopping, and the boozy parties, and hopefully be lounging about in our new flannel pjs, sipping on liquored up egg nog, and looking forward to a feast of turkey and all the trimmings.
BILLY GOAT GRUFF
Billy was the security guard that trained me. I got to know him, not in person, but through his legend. When I worked, he was off, and vice versa, so we rarely ever crossed paths. Occasionally, he’d pop by on his day off to say hello to the staff, and would come around to see how I was doing. I was the newbie, and he wanted to make sure that a) the staff was treating me well, and b) that I wasn’t fucking anything up.
I’m going to start calling this column Pat’s Diary (nope, too blah), or maybe Zippy’s Musical Journey, or maybe….My Life As A Crazy Lady….. Welcome to my world of music, pictures, and general mayhem. So we begin another 10 days of zipping (get it haha) around this wonderful city of ours enjoying the nightlife. I’m starting backwards…..
His real name is Steve Suhadolnik but they called him The Duck after a weekend in Seattle with his buddies Newman Newman and Dahlgreen left all three of them practically penniless because of Newman Newman’s hours-long call to his girl back in Indiana while the Duck and Dahlgreen took in a double-feature and (I am sure) trolled Pike Street for hookers. See, The Duck had this thing for hookers, having spent a year in Bangkok living with one. Number One, in fact. He always told me, you ever make it to Bangkok go down to the Thermay Lounge and ask for Number One. Then he would smile, just like in this picture, and smack his lips.
When we’re confused by where we are, it’s important to look at where we’ve been.
Confusion, uncertainty, masked as fear, pride, or hubris, reigns in all of us in these last days of 2016. What a year! I’m tempted to ride out the last bit hiding under my bed with my cats.